It's all about boundaries and agreements, both of which need to be checked and discussed about every months. The mistake?

Man asks boyfriend for an open relationship and he says no… Now what?! / Queerty

No boundaries, no agreements, no relationship To cling or not to cling. Nothing's more embarrassing than having a trail of toilet paper clinging to your sneaker as you walk out of the men's locker room into the free weights area at the gym.

No, that's not true. It's actually more embarrassing to be too clingy or not clingy enough in your gay relationship. Admittedly, getting a gay guy to commit is tough, or so they say. What's harder than that is the "cling on" effect. Not finding balance between "to cling, or not to cling. Saying something, meaning nothing. If you're confused by this concept, then you're a victim of this syndrome.

Gay Relationship Mistakes All Couples Should Avoid

Your gay relationship is on thin ice if you're communicating by assuming you said something clearly and later finding that what you said actually meant nothing! Assuming what you said is what your guy heard. And no, earwax removal isn't going to help the matter. Remaining in your gay relationship because it's comfortable.

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Here's a little secret that we'll keep just between us boys! No matter how much money he has, available party favors, "to die for sex," or the size of his loft apartment on 5th Avenue It's a false sense of comfort to believe "If I leave, I'll be single and that's bad.

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But you might actually be happier, and isn't that what you're really after? Creating a false sense of comfort; believing you need others to feel "worthy" when all you need is love No hall passes allowed. Remember how you feared ahem, "having an accident" because Ms.

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Applebaum wouldn't give you the hall pass until you calculated the square root of 64 or recited the Gettysburg Address? Well, you just might find yourself with the bathroom all to yourself if you and your partner give each other hall passes. You should both feel free to do your own thing with your own group of friends, but don't make things more complicated than they have to be. Sucking the life out of your gay relationship with a one-way train ticket to "Distrustville. Distrust me twice, see ya! Separate lives. I've never quite understood gay relationships in which the partners are in a serious, committed relationship but don't live together.

I'm not advocating first date, U-Haul truck, move-in immediately, white picket fence warp-speed relationships, and I also understand that sometimes, things get in the way, like the question of "How would I hook up with other people if we're living together? If you can't live with your man, what other relationships in your life aren't you able to live with?

How you do anything is how you do everything! It's just to make friends. Apps have overtaken all of our lives. I personally can't live without the app that warns me there are only four squares of toilet paper left on the roll; it sure saves me from some awkward moments. I also hear of more and more gay men, me included, who use gay-specific apps like Grindr, Scruff, and the likes, for making friends and networking. Not calling a spade a spade. If you can't be fully honest in your gay relationship about your app fetish, then your gay relationship won't be honest with you!

Why Do Gay Men Make Dating So Hard For Themselves?

Regular testing. Trust me, as someone who's been in my gay relationship for over 12 years, I know the value of being tested regularly — and so does my man.

Every healthy gay relationship gets tested We push buttons, ignore needs, and think we're the only one not getting the attention we desire. Assuming your gay relationship is above being tested. Test, test, test or the relationship could go to rest. Of course, test out of love for yourself, for him, and for the good of the relationship. Avoiding money talks. Just because we're gay, it doesn't mean we're immune from having "money talks".

Put your phone down right now or, if you're reading this on your phone, once you're done, please and thanks, appreciate your patronage. So a little louder, for those in the back: Given that we queers like to stick together, it's likely that you and your ex-boyfriend's circle of friends will integrate. Figuring out those friendships post-breakup is a pain in the ass. Likely, there'll be a custody battle. If you're looking for a clean break and really don't want that shady thing you said about your ex getting back to him, it might be worth figuring out who's truly your friend from the mishmashed mob.

Either that or you could be bold and ghost the whole lot of them. Why not? It's your damn life. If it fits you and you like it, there's no reason not to keep it, full stop. Just because your relationship is over doesn't mean you need to give him back his sweater—unless he asks for it. Then it's just bad manners to keep it hostage, we suppose.

Of course, if you've followed rule one and kept your phone at a distance, you might never know that he's asked for his sweater back. Continuity, my dear friends. The worst thing has happened: You've gone out to a bar and your ex is making out with some horrible rando in the corner.

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How do you react? Do you plot an escape plan so that neither will spot you and avoid the tears, tantrums, and about 10 years' worth of embarrassment that'll play over and over in your mind for the next decade? This, my friends, is how I have been known to act. Or do you remain aloof, soldiering through and exuding resilience? How about this: Stick around at the bar. If your ex sees you, that's fine; he might slink away embarrassed at this extreme case of PDA. Or perhaps the two of you might exchange pleasantries and you'll both get on with your night. In the words of Mary J.