Doll, in gay years you're not just an eldergay you're pretty much in God's waiting room. Either you pony up with the cash, or settle for some schlub with a daddy complex. Otherwise, date someone your own age I know, God forbid. I'm 46 and would actually be thrilled to date someone my own age; unfortunately, it seems all the guys my age want year-olds. You know this is only going to result in a story about a glory hole and someone seeing his father leave the next booth.

I'm 41, and while I prefer to date my own age, I've occasionally hooked up with a guys in their 20's, and met them on Adam4Adam. I know lots of guys my age 40s who are hung up on the idea that they want a something boyfriend. It's just not a reasonable demand But, they tell themselves they are 'just attracted to younger guys' and they don't dig any deeper than that.

That's usually why, though. There IS a market for dating and sex. It's silly to dream for that. Most older guys would do well to think about WHY they are attracted to what they are attracted to. It sucks for me, at 41, because most guys my own age whom I try to date are hung up on much younger or older I've always been one to seek out men for relationships who have been on earth about as long as I have, because that's where the most comfort and commonality can occur with a stranger.

As a 40 something myself, I can't imagine anything worse than dating a 25 year old. You may not gain wisdom with age, but you at least get some perspective about life. I guess I'm kind of in the same position as OP. I don't know if it's because I didn't have a relationship in my 20s or because the younger guys have the look that attracts me -- not many guys in their 40s can pull off the hipster look and not appear ridiculous. Straight men and gay men want younger partners, obsess about younger partners, and pay through the sphincter for younger partners.

Dykes do not have a "silvermommy" equivalent. Gay women can try to date at all ages without being jeered at. It's nice not to live without the strain. OK, that leaves a fairly slim dating pool. As I said, slim, but not nonexistent, so, hope springs eternal.

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If the right guy comes along, that is great. If not, eh. OP, I'm 49, I have no particular interest in guys in their 20s or even their 30s for the most part, but I'm on Scruff and I'm constantly getting messages, woofs, etc. It's a little annoying to me, but anyway it happens so you might as well try. Look OP, find someone your own age. If you plan to visit the daddy sites that are recommended here, you'd better beef up your bank account. Because younger guys looking for older men are looking for someone to take care of them. Or, in the short term, buy them things and take them on trips.

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They don't want to date guys their own age because, in the words of a friend of mine, they don't want to just "sit home every night, watch tv and fuck". They want a daddy to pay for them to go out. If you're smart you'll get over your crisis and look for guys your own age. Otherwise expect to get used.

I'm 85 and will only date yr. I find that having them over for a nice oatmeal dinner is lure enough. I'm 35, when I was in my 20s I couldn't get a date at all.

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Not even so much as a glance from a people in a room. It gave me a real complex and induced a crippling shyness in me. Now I get hit on all the time by guys and girls in the 20s. I can't believe.

A few times I've had girls take pictures of me on their phones while just walking down the street. It's crazy. I don't get what happened in the space of 3 years. I'm still really shy so I never let it go to my head or take it seriously. R11, Silverdaddies. Oh give it a rest, R Sounds like you're making your own excuses. It's so boring when people generalise about everyone else.

The flip side of your story is that nobody wants you. Yes, there must be something wrong with everybody else, not you.

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I don't think the daddy thing is all that rare. I dated a younger guy who definitely felt that way. We worked together so I certainly wasn't giving him money--we made about the same. Though there weren't that many years difference between us, it sort of bothered me. Maybe because he was sort of immature which made me feel even older. We talked about the age difference once and he said he thought it was hot. And he went on to say it would be even hotter if I were in my 30s or 40s!!??

I'm 30 years old and have been seeing a 44 year old guy for about 10 months. I have to say that it's been really great. I know there are guys my age who prefer older men, and not necessarily just for money. The problem, though, is that such guys are often shy - practically homebodies - so they're hard to find. In my opinion, what's attractive in a guy in his 40s or older is that he's more likely to have his shit together, personally and professionally.

The guy I've been seeing is financially secure relatively well-off, but certainly not rich. He's led a pretty full life and has experienced a lot, which means he has good stories to tell and helpful advice to give.

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He also has many equally interesting friends. The fact that he's been to just about every bar and restaurant in the city means he is now perfectly content spending a quiet evening at home, which suits me just fine. I feel very fortunate because I've found someone who's mature, responsible, dependable, and considerate. I, and others my age who are like me, find those qualities very attractive, and an older man is likelier to possess them. I'm 44, but look 34, thanks to very good genetics and a healthy lifestyle, and I attract mostly guys in their mid 20s looking for someone a little older.

When I finally tell them the truth--that I'm old enough to be their father--they don't really care.

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They see me as a slightly older contemporary, as one of their peers. So what you are saying you only have ten years left to live beacuse you are so shallow that you think if you look 45 - Its not worth living? You better get a handle on your old age now or you are in for a shock. Wake Up and stop looking at the Mirror! Oh, dear - another eldergay trying to convince themselves they look 10 years younger than they are. If I had a nickel for every time I heard that one It's actually true.

I've gotten enough gasps and "no way, bitch! I'm not delusional enough to think I look early-mid 20s, but I can pass for a good 10 years younger. I've always looked a lot younger than I am. Guys in their 20s and 30s see me as one of their contempories. It's a great thing not to look your age in the gay world, and I'm going to milk my great genetics as long as I can.

I'm I have a full time job, and I have my own small business on the side. I work out days a week to stay in decent shape. On weekends, I do work around the house, laundry, food shopping, errands, gardening, etc. Who has the time or energy to go out? At this point in my life, getting a good night's sleep alone is paramount.

This reminds me of my friend Chris.