No matter your gender or sexual orientation, dating can seem like a minefield.
Sometimes we meet the wrong people, choose a bad venue or fall head over heels with someone who just wants to be friends. We can be a very picky bunch. Having fixed ideas of what you want — which usually boil down to looks and little else — could be standing in your way of meeting some great guys. Not only is this far too prescriptive, you also run the risk of coming across as overly negative. Say what you like to do, who you want to be with, and why people should date you.
This is becoming a bigger issue in the gay dating world.
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All this liberation and equality is leading to increased bigotry among us. What does that even mean? If you like someone enough, open your mind to other possibilities. Intimidating right? While exploring who you are and capturing it in such a condensed form can be daunting, there are two things you can easily avoid to make your profile more attractive.
First we have the guy who lists everything you must do to meet his standards. The profile for Guy 1 may go something like this:. I am an athletic jock looking for fun.
10 Tips to Better Gay Online Dating
You must spend two hours daily at the gym—like I do. You must have a job. You must brush your teeth. You must practice ballet beneath the full moon when the new moon falls on a Tuesday…. Second, we have the guy who states everything he is not looking for. Guy 2 will often rock bullet points in his profile:. Frankly, both types of profiles wave red flags.
Guy 1 and Guy 2 may have nice photos and stats, but both speak in ultimatums and mandates. Now go back and read my two paragraphs.
Life, Off Script
Do you see the difference between how I stated my preference and how Guy 1 and Guy 2 did? I frame everything in positive affirmations. I hit the gym. I practice yoga. I spend time with my family.
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I list what makes me happy—neither as judgment nor ultimatum—as simple, joyous affirmation. Joe Valero is a meditating and yoga-practicing entrepreneur in the Denver area. You can often find him at the gym or writing fantasy novels in a coffee shop. MeetMindful is the first online dating site to serve the mindful lifestyle.
Sign up for expert wisdom, inspiring articles, and the latest from our blog right to your inbox. MeetMindful is a curated meeting ground for mindful and meaningful connections. Register for free and get started today no card required. Creating a Dating Profile. Take mine, for example: