Why Do Gay Men Make Dating So Hard For Themselves?

There are some of us out here with children with disabilities. And specifically with autism, my son's "severe" kind though I'm loathe to use the term "severe , when I got divorced my ex wife and I had long discussions about living arrangements as my son would have his entire sense of himself in the world ruined if one of us weren't living here. I am living with my ex and truly not in a relationship with her.

As a matter of fact, she got engaged this past week, and everyone involved gets along great, and I'm proud to say I introduced them to each other. They are great together! And he is going to make a fantastic step-dad! But beyond that fact, this is If I were to move out, I am in the financial position where I'd be able to afford it.

Gay Sex: Is This Your First Time?

I am well aware that me sharing a house with my ex as well as having a son with a disability makes me "undatable" to most gay men: What's disappointing is that this article is telling me the same thing. What's more disappointing is that many good men out there in the world will be told the same thing due to their life circumstances. What's sad is that you're bolstering that prejudice by telling them the same thing. I am full aware that I will die single because of this fact about myself. Though, for the record, each of the three men I've had serious relationships all called me within a year to ask if we can get back together.

Holding off.

I did with one, I didn't with the other two. But if I am single for the rest of my life, that's my duty as a parent and my love for him is greater than my own desires.

I'm just disappointed that an otherwise perfect guy I can name three of my friends who are in the same position as me, all AMAZING, unbelievably hunky guys who are all several states away from me like the friends I just talked about parenthetically will never be given a chance other than being a toy for someone else's sexual desire.

I do realize there's a "disclaimer," as I said, but given your emphasis on not only that but a few other things I found honestly to be ridiculous. I don't say this to insult you though in fairness you did insult me , I say this to inform you that not all men who love men are the same, and that's the real tragedy of gay culture in general and this article which ironically I find you as a writer to be contradictory in fault: I pass with flying colors all the time, until they find out I care for someone else's happiness more than my own's.

Supposedly that's what everyone searching for love is looking for- a selfless loving guy. Perhaps that's the ultimate irony of not only my dating experiences but this article. This list could also apply to men and women dating. Your flags are very red flags -- crimson: Well Ben and Ken maybe you're the same person?

I don't think it is any stretch when I observe that you hate republicans and you have systematically avoided the central question to my rebuttle. By so doing, it's also obvious that you prefer cheap smears and name calling to reasoned debate. In the early days of the struggle for our equality, activists knew that silence equals death. They knew the way forward required that we communicate what we wanted, needed and why.

Because of Ken and Ben twin brothers, maybe? Mark Steyn understands this In the march for equality, we all have a role to play! I cannot see how equality can be achieved while this community harbors such divisions. We cannot move forward while leaving Republicans behind. Great article! Shared with some friends. I see you caught the attention of the wingers because one has appeared on your commentary board. What a judgmental and hetero-normative screed! Have you thought that someone just wants a long-term fuck bud?

Or to get laid after a relationship is actually therapeutic? You still failed to answer the central question to my rebuttle, "If a gay Republican is not worthy of love and acceptance and collectively the community represented in this article rejects all gay republicans, is that community worthy of love and acceptance from the gay republican or his broader community, the GOP? To put it in terms that you might understand, the absence of love is hate, so wasn't the article, in some part, really about hate and the prejudices of the author to begin with? I loved the article and thought you hit all of the important points.

Yes, there are generalizations but in an article like this I would expect that. At least he put something out there for gay men and first dates and not the usual crap we see around the Internet. I read the ignorant and hostile remark made by Herman Nilsson and just about puked. Hollywood is saying IF a guy says he is "straight acting" and pretends or denies that he is gay, then the guy is engaging in internalized homophobia.

I did not read Mr, Hollywood said republicans or anyone else could not be loved. And how can a person truly love another if they don't love themselves first. If a gay man supports rabidly anti-gay candidates, that says a lot about who they are. It's like a black person supporting political candidates who support a "southern strategy" or latinos supporting candidates who are anti-Hispanic. For the record, I once dated a man just like this. It was terrible. He constantly made cracks against fellow gays, bragged how he supported like Rick Santorum and make sure he went to chic-fillet so that people would see the cup he was drinking out of.

He was one of the most self-loathing gay men I have ever met. Not sure how long the author will let the hateful post Nillson stay up because it looks like someone is trying to flame the discussion. I just wanted to be a voice here to push back against a political troll. I dated a guy who was and never saw him again. I pondered whether to make this post for the last day, but it has to be said - this post describes perfectly why Republicans should hate gays. The advice in this article is reasonable, until you get to item 7 - he says he's straight acting, and another point is, "He identifies as a die hard republican and supports anti-gay candidates.

Face it, gays come in all shapes, sizes, creeds, cultures and even political persuasions. In fact, gays have been out and organizing within the Republican Party for more than 35 years through the Log Cabin Republicans. There are so many reasons why a gay would consider involving themselves in the GOP, would choose to organize in support of equality inside of the Republican Party and would strongly support a Republican Candidate - even one that you might consider to be anti-gay.

For example, the "Give a Damn" campaign contrasts gay rights with the plight of starving kids in the third world and demands that if the picture of two men kissing on the left shocks you more than a picture of starving kids on the right you need to revise your view on immorality.

That First Date

What the author is suggesting in this article is that a gay republican is somehow not worthy of his love and acceptance, and continues to counsel that that a gay republican is not worthy of your love acceptance. This of course begs the question, "If a gay Republican is not worthy of love and acceptance and collectively the community represented in this article rejects all gay republicans, is that community worthy of love and acceptance from the gay republican or his broader community, the GOP? Anyone who finds it silly must see themselves somewhere in 1 to 10 - if not in all of them!

I think many could relate having dated with someone from each of these, if not numerous in one person! Mister Hollywood you rocked it with this article and hit all of the points I have messed up on over the years.

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Thanks man! I thought this was a pretty good article, except for the frequent use of the word "Run! You don't have to run. You can walk away calmly. I just want to know who kisses someone while looking into their eyes. In my experience, people usually keep their eyes closed when kissing. Staring at each other that close would make you look cross-eyes to say the least.

It's hard to get to know someone if they can't be present. I especially love the reference to bars because it shows a preoccupation with drinking. And as a recovering alcoholic myself, I remember dating only a few months in and it was a disaster. I was still in an absolute cloud, and became utterly obsessed with the guy. In a way HE became my drug.

And of course it didn't work out and of course I was devastated. You nailed a lot of these Mister Hottiewood. I am a recovering alcoholic with 15 years sober. I tell all of the people I sponsor that they need at least a year of sobriety before they can ever think of dating seriously again. Love your articles and just Liked you on FB. I found a few generalizations here. Enough that maybe one of them should have been replaced with the opposite of 9.

For I've found myself talking a lot about myself on dates, but not by any choice of my own. We get on a topic about ourselves.

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To him, I seem to have an interesting backstory, then because we're on a date, I'm tired of hearing my own voice, so I turn the question over to him to tell me about himself. And it's just that. It's not because I don't find his backstory interesting. It's because I never get the chance to find out. For HE doesn't find his story interesting enough to share. With that said, him not having enough confidence in his life experiences to share them should be a red flag to replace maybe 5. For everyone's recovery timetable isn't the same. For some don't even need a year.

Meanwhile, others need 5 years. It likely is a fluke with Google algorithms. After awhile it will go away. Thanks for visiting! Is it only me Gay Men: Oh if they only matched men with men. This reminds me of any man straight or gay.