One day, he got a message on Grindr, a gay dating app, that piqued his interest. Over time it had been recommended as well by peers and friends who weren't yet aware that I was already involved. Though he says that these kinds of offers are not "sparse" on dating apps, he has noticed a more concerted effort on the part of the apps to crack down on potential financial dealings.

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For his part, Kyle said he actually found becoming a sugar baby enlightening, especially because he had recently moved to a new city and hoped to learn more about himself, his identity, and his sexuality. It wasn't just clothes. His work as a sugar baby meant that Kyle didn't have to worry about bills any longer. Kyle didn't often tell family or friends about being a sugar baby, but he said he felt that he could be more open when he noticed that being a sugar baby became a sort of trend, though there were still some boundaries and stigmas.

This is especially true when factoring in that many other sugar babies and sex workers are people of color, non-binary, trans, or members of other oppressed, marginalized communities and whose work "can be very different and much more risky, oppressive, and dangerous," Kyle said.

1. Ask yourself, “Are you actually ready to have a sugar daddy?”

In his experience, many of Kyle's pursuers sought "masculine" men and at first, he assumed they were mostly closeted, but he eventually had experiences that expanded his thoughts about relationships, especially with one sugar daddy in particular. Often looking for a travel companion, or someone to go ride some roller coasters with! Loving, cheerful old man living alone with my old cat read more. I am nice guy, I am straight acting buzz cut hair deep voice and tats.

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I am a nice guy with a big heart. But don't take me for a fool because I am nice guy. I love living in southern florida, the weather is great. Hopefully you will get to e Back to top. Log in Not a Member? Login Not a Member? Unlike Scott, Elijah's relationships were sexual, but they didn't last long.

Out of all of his daddies, the accountant gave Elijah the most extravagant experience—but he also exhibited the most control. After weeks of pampering, he became super overprotective. It got to the point where he was literally treating Elijah like his son, so the younger man broke it off after two and a half months. During my interview with Elijah, he suggested that the absence of a father figure in his life could be a reason for his interest in older guys. When I asked Scott about his relationship with his dad, he said that they didn't speak for four years when he was a teenager, and are still patching things up.

Alex Borovoy, a Toronto-based psychotherapist who works with LGBT and straight couples and singles, agrees that this attraction can be magnified by a lack of a paternal presence, but wouldn't prescribe such a sweeping hypothesis to every gay sugar relationship.

A 'sugar baby' said he never had to worry about bills — here's why he decided to give it all up

Borovoy also looks at the daddy's side of things when it comes to a possible lack of a father in his life. This factor recurred multiple times in my conversations with male sugar babies, and though it's impossible to generalize an entire community, the idea does seem to carry some weight. Barry, a midtown Toronto man who prefers to leave out his last name, has wanted to find a sugar daddy for many years.

While he is currently in a long-term relationship with a woman, he is attracted to the idea of having an older man call the shots and pamper him. He too brought up his relationship with his dad. I should also mention that Barry is 55 years old. When I contacted him through a gay sugar daddy page on Facebook, I naively assumed he was a sugar daddy.

Why a male sugar baby says he gave it up - INSIDER

But male sugar babies can range widely in age, and after having been with older men in the past, Barry is interested in having a sugar daddy—if he manages to leave his current partner. He's not worried about any daddy drawbacks. When Scott and I had our last interview on his 29th birthday he seemed genuinely happy. These days he's single and active on Seeking Arrangement.

A couple of months ago he met an older gentleman at a seminar who brought up possibly helping him with his tuition debt. Sitting across from him inside Yorkville's Hazelton Lanes, one of Toronto's most high-end shopping areas and Scott's choice of location, I noticed his hair was long and he was wearing running shoes.