That life is behind me. I can barely look back through those photos. I see me, a lanky pipsqueak squinting through big teeth, someone with no clue how to live in my body, no understanding of what it was feeling, and no words to describe it. I'm so grateful to be here now, to have moved into a better life.

Sometimes you have to cut your timeline and never look back.

Want to add to the discussion?

This should be obvious, but apparently not. I talked to some transmasculine friends while writing this piece, and several explained that many people assume trans men are only interested in women. When we talk about gay and bi men, that includes gay and bi trans men, too. Assuming anyone is straight because of how their gender is presented is an unhealthy hetero projection — one we don't need. My ability to detect whether or not someone is gay or bi what some call gaydar is faulty, so unless I meet someone on a sex app or at a queer-heavy bar, I face the task of expressing interest and seeing if they're interested back.

Thankfully, hookup apps usually do the work for me. Having a penis doesn't make you a man — nor does having top surgery.

Having a vagina doesn't make you a woman. Sex, too, is not all about parts and anatomy, and focusing too much on physical acts ignores the powerful mental, tactile, romantic, and explorative sides of human sexuality. During a great early sexual encounter with a trans man, I told him I didn't know what to do for his body or how to make him feel good.

This seems to be another common misconception. Many trans men are tops! I am a bottom and have only ever bottomed for trans men. A good top, in my opinion, knows how to listen, take charge, and deliver pleasure at the right speed and intensity. The sexual tools at his disposal are endless — he has his hands, mouth, fingers, strength, breath, and body weight, along with a myriad of sex toys, strap-ons, insertables, and more that exist. I asked a kinky transmasculine friend what an ideal first message on Grindr would be: I told him that when I get in submissive headspace, I like when guys call my hole a pussy or cunt.

I also know some cis gay guys who hate the word "cock" and bristle at its use. Everyone has words they prefer, and those words may change depending on the kind of sex they're having or who they're with. Some trans men say "vagina," others say "front hole" and "back hole. As a cis gay man, I will never know what being trans is like. But I do know there are commonalities among us — family isolation and rejection, hunting for our people, discovering sex on a different timeline than our peers, living in shame and denial, coming out, exploring our first queer spaces, trying on labels, and finding words that fit.

These are the beautiful milestones of queerness that most of us share. Listen to his experience and share yours, and I promise that by the end of the night, you'll be closer.

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You know the common Grindr script: These days, guys seem to dislike one-word messages because they're economical and efficient and no one likes to be reminded of how they're one of many options. But you are — everyone is. Maybe it's brisk and to-the-point, but I ask "Into? Someone can reply with what sex role they like, list their kinks, or say they're looking for love. At least two men have listed their hanky code colors, which I appreciated. Start there. This is the same script you'd use to flirt with anyone because trans men are men.

I still remember the few times I slipped up and wrongly assumed a trans person's pronouns. The memories still fill me with shame and embarrassment. That's good — now I remember to ask. Before you have a chance to do so, get comfortable with 'they' and 'them. Doing so might feel awkward at first, but after you get into the practice it will get easier. Doing so is not only respectful of a person's pronouns you don't know — it's also one small step in a massive social movement to challenge binarism and take down archaic notions of gender.

Using gender-neutral pronouns, at least until someone's pronouns are confirmed, is not hard and is something you can do every day. Every 'they' and 'them,' even for people whose gender identity you think is obvious, is a small, vital step in a better direction — one that carves space for genderqueer and nonbinary people. I start talking about sex quickly because I'm bad at flirting. But if asking what words he uses to describe his parts seem a little aggressive, take it down a notch and just flirt.

Compliments about a great smile or beautiful eyes are less threatening and genial. Before having sex with anyone, you probably have a pre-built script about how it's going to go. Lose that.

16 Things I Learned From Having Sex With Trans Men

I had to learn sex with trans men through their patient teaching. One past playmate, in particular, taught me more about my kinks than I knew and pushed me to new levels of understanding with my body. Getting there requires opening your mind and your body to new sensations and silencing the mental playbook you thought you'd use. Every sexual encounter is different because every person is different. You know the three common sex roles — top, bottom, and versatile — that everyone not just cis gay men can be grouped into.

There's also a fourth. A couple years ago, The Huffington Post ran a piece by sexpert Joe Kort on gay "sides" — gay men who enjoy sex but do not, for various reasons, like anal penetration. Gay cis men tend to focus on anal sex as the base requirement of sex — many do not consider other sex acts, like oral sex, to be "sex" at all. As a result, sides often feel embarrassed, ashamed, or left out. But the fact is, anal sex is just one kind of sex, and there are a variety of reasons why one might not find it fun. Some people have health conditions that keep them from enjoying anal sex — others simply don't enjoy it.

I'm not a big fan of oral sex, and could happily cut it from my repertoire without much concern. Some guys feel the same about anal. Thankfully there is massage, rubbing, mutual masturbation, rimming, licking, fingering, and literally endless non-penetrative kinky sex acts you can do.

Sex is a miles-long buffet table — why choose only one thing?

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A majority of my experiences with trans men have been dominant-submissive with me as the sub. In none of these encounters did a penis go in my butt — and they were all fun. Derek Atlas: No high standards. Logan Milano is not a real person with real feelings. Logan Milano is a persona created by a young porn model who is having problems dealing with the fall-out of his choosing to perform in the public eye, which comes with more than just adolation.

The boy will need to grow up if he wants to stay in the industry. Cheezy you leave my Derek Atlas alone!!! And QMN what about the comments about you or your blog that have been posted by readers in other blogs? Yep Logan you are a real person with real feelings and a freakin off the charts beautiful muscular body. Derek Atlas is one of the most gorgeous gay porn stars, what a beautiful face. But I now totally agree with Oz. Oz is a moron. For real dude. He needs to grow up?

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Sounds like he has the most level headed attitude of any new model. You should ignore cunty comments, like I should have ignored yours, and not let haters phase you. But of course pathetically narrow minded imbeciles like yourself would find a way to turn this positive into a negative. Or is that being cunty?