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Carl Collison 01 Jun Trusting the virtual stranger, Hendricks drove to his home in Elsies River, picked him up and brought him back to where he was house-sitting. His intuition eventually winning the day, he drove the young man home. I was fucking scared. I ran in, grabbed my things and left immediately. But what really stood out for Hendricks was that his visitor had spoken a lot about a gay man from Elsies River who had been murdered a few years earlier. They would have killed me, I know it. Other gay men have not been so fortunate, with online dating apps appearing to be the ground on which they are hunted.
No fats, no femmes, no blacks: The unbearable racism of Grindr in South Africa. I remember, as we walked in, there was a woman there with her child.
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They took me into a room — a very dark room — and told me to take off my clothes. Then there were six of them. I was begging them to let me get dressed. They took everything from me.
One guy kept pushing a gun against my head. And every time my phone locked, they threatened to shoot me. I was so, so scared they were going to kill me. I just grabbed what I could in that dark room and left.
I was in shock; completely traumatised. In March this year, the organisation launched a website, report. The website has yet to see many people using it. Phalakatshela puts this down to people not knowing about it because the site is so new. With crimes ranging from robbery and theft to racism and xenophobia, Phalakatshela says the high volume of online crimes being reported is of concern. Juan Nel, a member of the Hate Crimes Working Group, says there is little, if any, research in South Africa into the number of crimes committed against gay men and men who have sex with men.
My hazardous journey into the complex world of chemsex. In chemsex, drugs are consumed with the intention of having sex.
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Clinical psychologist Itumeleng Mamabolo says victims of such crimes often have a sense of shame. So there is a lot of shame involved with that and one of the reasons people might find it difficult to report [it to the police]. There are these labels around this and possibly being seen as promiscuous. He says survivors of such crimes often experience an added layer of trauma as a result of this shame. We all want the convenience of doing things instantly. People are taking advantage of what is available out there. Like, do we seek out such risky encounters or is it that we are just particularly vulnerable to these kinds of crimes?
And, you know, the sex is not the issue.