There is no rush! Start off by introducing them to the more amenable and less conservative members of your family first. Gather a little support upfront. If you have an aunt, sister or uncle, rope them into assisting with the first initial meeting. Talk highly of your partner in front of your parents, you have my permission to exaggerate a little.
Only you will be able to make the judgement call on this.
First and foremost while your family are important, your partner comes first. But, it is important to take it easy with your parents, for the most part they are doing what they feel is best for you. They may think your life would be easier with someone within the same culture.
If your family continue to disapprove — focus on building a great relationship with your partner. Be prepared they may not attend the wedding. Think long term, hopefully your family love you and with time may soften.
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There are also a few things you must never do. You partner can say whatever they like about their own family but you must zip the lip! Act the same when meeting anyone new for the first time. Do some homework. Get your partner to brief you on the different personalities and characters within the family.
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If this is their tradition do it! And it continues with understanding that being able to talk about race in a conscientious way is an avenue to showing love toward your partner. Sometimes I want to talk to someone who just gets it. And part of attempting allyship is understanding that sometimes, your partner just needs someone else right now.
That shit is hard. And especially in romantic or sexual relationships where one, both, or all of you have close ties to your family, remembering that families function differently culture to culture is a must. Because are they, really?
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Let them know why what they said is harmful and hurtful. Bust some myths. Give them a little history lesson. Offer them some alternatives.
Send them a useful YouTube video. But make sure that you actually address it. Do they want you to be the liaison — or would they feel more comfortable speaking for themselves? Will they want some alone time afterward — or maybe some time to debrief with you?
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