IAmA gay guy who married a straight girl. I'm used to being misunderstood and don't expect the internet to be much different, but what the hell. Wow, so many great questions and an unexpected outpouring of support. Thanks, Reddit! Time for dinner with the wife and kiddos, but I will do my best to log on later and answer more questions.

My wife's not much of an internet enthusiast, but I imagine she will enjoy reading many of your questions as well. EDIT 2: I am working through all of the questions, had no clue this would be such a big deal. I'm sure this sounds ridiculous, but we ate popcorn and watched movies into the wee hours of the morning, and we both still remember it as being the perfect ending to one of the best days of our lives. I just said, "gayyyyyyyyyy", but obviously I meant that in the pejorative sense rather than as a reference to your sexuality.

She was my best friend and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, regardless of whether I was sexually attracted to her. She's the best human being I know. What is your marriage like? Is there any physical connection between you two, or is it strictly emotional? If it's strictly emotional, is it open sexually? How long have you been married?

Do people outside your marriage like family and friends know about your "unconventional" marriage? Have you two talked about having children? It's definitely more emotional but the physical has evolved over the past six years. I accommodate her because I realize she is sexually attracted to me, so we have occasional sex.

Sometimes we both climax, sometimes only she does. The first year, it was difficult for me to reach orgasm when we had sex, but it's gradually become easier. On that note, let me quickly point out that I don't think I've somehow changed my sexual orientation, and I'm absolutely not in any way trying to advocate ANY kind of ex-gay anything whatsoever.

Whoever you are, that's who you should be. As for me, my natural attraction i. I just choose not to act upon it because I'm committed to the relationship I'm already in. I am highly skeptical of the idea that you can convert yourself from gay to straight, but I do think it's entirely possible to learn to have a sexual relationship with someone you're not sexually attracted to, and even to grow to enjoy it.

My parents and siblings know about my past relationships with guys, even though I never declared myself to be gay, and they asked before I got married whether my wife then my fiancee knew about this. I told them that she did, and they all left it at that. I figure they must think the relationship is a little unusual, but they've all just accepted it and don't ask questions about the specifics. Most likely my parents figure that I went through a "gay phase" and turned out to be straight, but it really doesn't matter to me whether they completely understand all the details.

We have a three-year old son and a seven-month old daughter. We both agreed during this past pregnancy that we didn't want more after these two. You sound like a remarkably mature human being Thank you for sharing. I wonder how hard I'll get downvoted for wondering whether the OP is fake or not.

Actually, for straight out calling him a fake. I fully support gays, heteros, or bisexuals doing whatever they want. An asexual can be happy in a sexless marriage. But a gay guy is not going to be happy to be with a woman for the rest of his life Love isn't only based on sex And this alleged couple is off the meter in the "not sexually compatible" department. We're supposed to believe she's happy to have sex once a month, with someone who regards it as something of a chore? And that he is attracted to men, but has decided not to ever have enjoyable sex again?

And everyone here is just eating it up? PM me for an excellent real estate opportunity in Brooklyn. I upvoted you because I think you're expressing honest skepticism, and I can understand that. It's a weird scenario, no question about that. On the other hand, if it wasn't an odd scenario, or if my marriage was commonplace, there would be no reason whatsoever for me to do an AMA about it. It's one of those unfortunate AMAs where nothing I can say or do will probably convince you one way or the other, and without meaning to sound like a jerk, it really doesn't matter to me whether or not every last person is convinced.

Want to add to the discussion?

Rather, I've had the opportunity to explain some things that I've never been able to explain very well in real life, the Reddit community in general has been awesome to me about it, and a few people have indicated that this AMA, for whatever reason, has helped them out or restored their faith in humanity somehow. If the price of that is having a handful of Redditors call me a fake, I got a total bargain and would do this AMA again in a heartbeat.

I don't have anything to ask, but I really appreciate your detailed answer and respect your experience. Are there not so many other ways to show this? Or did you find the institute of marriage to be the strongest representation of your love? Now what happens when you meet a man you what to share a similar bond with? Do you cheat? Is it called cheating? Why bother with Marriage then? I see this as being somewhat short sighted, exactly what marriage should not be viewed as but this is my own opinion.

Would love to hear your answers to the above questions though. I guess it's more an issue of loving her deeply without having a sexual attraction to her. We wanted to live together, we wanted to have kids together, we wanted to wake up next to each other every morning, and we wanted to grow old together.

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We wanted an exclusive relationship with each other even if sexual attraction was not a driving force in that relationship. I'm not saying that marriage is necessarily the right solution for anyone. For us, it's just what made the most sense. As to meeting a man with whom I share a similar bond, I just don't see it happening. I have guy friends, both gay and straight, and they're great friends, but I don't have the bond with any of them that I have with my wife.

Some of these male friends are quite attractive, but I simply wouldn't consider having a sexual relationship with any of them because I'm already in a committed relationship.

I think you just described what marriage should be about. That you have found this in a platonic relationship has me reeling with respect. It is a typo too good to fix.

What would a plutonic relationship be? Sort of cold, and distant, but with enough sentimental value that you reject all suggestions to downgrade its importance? I have to find a way to use this in conversation.

Two bodies, orbiting each other, unable to clear their surrounds of debris but who, despite it all, refuse to meekly submit to their assigned station in life because, dammit, together they are a planet. Judging by your original question, I was about as skeptical as you flicking through this thread. But reading his reply was like being hit by a tonne of bricks, I to am left reeling after suddenly realising that he is talking about the very essence of love. Commitment and devotion, in the absence of sexual preferences or even orientation.

I have been This doesn't happen very often on the internet even on Reddit. I think I need a drink. It's really funny you say this. I am a straight guy in a relationship, and while I still am residually sexually attracted to my girlfriend, I am kinda sad to say that is hardly the animating force in our relationship.