Before I found out he was trans, I was deeply attracted to him and was falling for him.

Now, I no longer feel either of those things and do not know if I can continue dating him. I feel like a small-minded bigot that my romantic feelings about Marcus are based on something as randomly distributed as a penis. Marcus wants to continue to date and to have sex to see if my feelings can change.

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Am I being a bigot? Do you have any advice? Dru Levasseur, a trans activist, attorney, and cofounder of the Jim Collins Foundation, an organization that funds gender-confirming surgeries for trans people. Is she afraid of social rejection if people were to find out she was dating a trans person? Who knows, Marcus could be the best sex and biggest love of her life. My two cents: I believe that Marcus should have told you he was trans before you hooked up, NCA, and disclosing was in his own self-interest. And there are far worse forms of nondisclosure. There are lots of reasons why trans people might be stealth or not out like Marcus—for example, the terrifying rate of violence against trans people or the overwhelming statistics of discrimination.

But I think disclosure is a good idea early on because it allows people to love you for who you are.

Dating While Trans: From Victim to Partner

Why not know that the person you are getting close to wants you? All of you.

There are many people out there who think trans men are the ideal guys. Does that make you a bigot? I would just hope she is kind when she lets Marcus go.

From what she says, it sounds like he wants to convince her to want him or love him, and no one should be in the business of doing that. I date a lot of people mostly guys these days and have recently started seeing a year-old het male.

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What do you suggest? Could this three-way end awkwardly?

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So as a good piece of trans dating advice, cis sexual partners should understand that some trans guys are still coming to terms with their bodies. The less you make a big deal out of it, and the more you affirm that you like them for who they are, the better the connection will be. Also, as a pro-tip: In fact, Ty Turner says many trans men reveal their identity as if it were a guilty, scary, secret confession rather than just another personal detail.