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But others were furious at my disloyalty. They felt I had demeaned the gay community to even think such a thing. At the other extreme, bigots would say that my question proves their point. That questioning being gay is proof enough that the gay lifestyle is wrong. But I stand by what I wrote.

I think that the judgemental juggernaut that dominates gay culture is deeply unhealthy. It doesn't take a genius to work out that feeling judged constantly can make a person unhappy. Perhaps this is why gay men are twice as likely to have a mental health problem, or perhaps it even helps explain why nearly half of gay people have considered suicide.

Don't get me wrong; there are countless wonderful things about being gay. But let's give each other a break.

Many gay men have spent years fighting feelings of not belonging, of not being good enough. The last thing we need is other gay men sticking dumb labels on us and telling us that we're still not up to scratch. If we can move beyond that, hopefully people who are born gay won't have to wonder whether their life would be easier if they were straight.

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Thursday 11 April I'm gay, but given the choice would I rather be straight? By Cristo Foufas.

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