Lastly, you may want to see which, if any, senior service providers advertise in local LGBT publications or websites in your area. This can be a good first sign that an agency or organization has experience with and ties to the community.

Once you have a list of providers, review their websites and literature. Are LGBT couples represented in images? Do they use inclusive words such as domestic partner, significant other and life partner as well as spouse? Do they describe a broad definition of family? Is there a stated nondiscrimination policy that specifically affirms the rights of LGBT people?

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Call agencies and ask about their policies directly. For most people, the price of care will factor heavily into decisions about bringing on additional support. In many states with consumer direction, spouses are restricted from being hired to provide paid care. In this case, for LGBT caregivers, non-married same-sex couples can hire their partner to provide care.

Even if you and your loved one currently have an understanding with certain physicians or care staff, it is still important to take these legal steps. In an emergency, you may have to deal with doctors and other professionals outside your regular care network who will not provide medical information to individuals who are not next of kin or who are not legally designated to make decisions on behalf of the patient. Depending on where you live, your expectations for finding LGBT-affirming care and support may vary widely. In cities with visibly large LGBT communities, you may find that older LGBT people have formed their own social and support organizations, and that there are dedicated LGBT medical clinics, assisted-living facilities, and retirement communities.

Unfortunately, unless providers receive training on reaching and serving LGBT caregivers and their families, their needs may remain largely invisible.

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Continue seeking referrals from friends, colleagues, and local and national LGBT organizations until you feel good about working with a provider. A recent survey of LGBT baby boomers found that a growing number of LGBT aging adults expect to be treated with respect and dignity at the end of their life.

In spite of this, one in five of the LGBT adults surveyed cited fear of double discrimination for being older and LGBT , as a significant concern about aging. These fears are particularly important to seniors moving into nursing homes or residential care facilities. Unfortunately, 41 states do not currently have any housing or public accommodations laws prohibiting discrimination against people based on their sexual orientation. Homophobia can be expressed in different ways in a care facility, ranging from comments made to your spouse, partner, or friend by other patients or staff, to problems with the care that is or should be provided.

Under the law, all residents have rights and protections. The facility must publicly list and provide a copy of these rights to all new residents. Read more about them at: If problems occur, the first step in resolving the issue is to determine whether the mistreatment is the behavior of an individual or part of a larger pattern of behavior within the facility.

If the harassment is by another resident, possibly a roommate, ask if your loved one can be moved to another room or part of the facility. If the problem stems from an individual health worker or aide, talk to the appropriate supervisor or administrator and ask if another staff person can be assigned to assist your partner, spouse, or friend. Under federal law, each jurisdiction must maintain an Ombudsman Program that will rapidly verify claims of mistreatment or abuse in licensed care facilities and help to mediate problem resolution. Local Ombudsman Programs also should be responsive to caregivers who want to discuss their concerns about care in a licensed facility and assist in determining if a complaint should be filed.

Contact the Office on Aging or the Area Agency on Aging in the county in which the facility is located to get information about your local Ombudsman Program. In our youth-focused culture, institutionalized ageism produces these feelings among heterosexual older adults as well. As an LGBT caregiver, it can be important to help the person for whom you care stay connected to members of your chosen family and to other LGBT older people. As LGBT people age and depend on others for care, they may become more guarded about who they are.

While this choice is understandable, one consequence can be greater feelings of isolation. Also, since LGBT seniors are more likely to be single and to live alone, extra efforts may be needed to build and maintain social support networks. Seek out multigenerational community activities such as bingo nights, film festivals, and neighborhood fairs, as ways to stay connected to the community at large. Patronize local cafes and bookstores where LGBT people congregate. Invite friends or family members to join you and your loved one.

Try to take advantage of virtual communities.

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