I lob a question over the net, and they spike incredibly succinct answers right past me. That was the moment our seven-year-old son came out. It was one of those epic parenting moments the handbook definitely does not cover. Thankfully, my mouth was full of chicken, which gave me a few panicked seconds to conjure the kind of response that could possibly convey the feelings of overwhelming love, worry and protectiveness rushing over me. I fervently wished there was someone with more experience—or, better yet, a degree in child psychology—who I could consult before responding.

But no such luck: Cleanup, bathtime and bedtime stories that night happened in a blur—a thousand thoughts buzzed through my brain while just as many emotions crashed over me: Could he really know at this age? Any bully is going to have to contend with me. Well, those bullies better watch out. Will I be able to support him effectively? What do I do next? When Lucas was finally tucked in, I headed back downstairs, flopped dramatically onto the sofa and let out the biggest exhale of my life. My husband, a go-with-the-flow, laid-back guy who never seems to get rattled, was just as low-key as his son.

His reaction: He was that typical little boy who gets excited by trains, thinks mud is an accessory and wrestles with anyone who is willing or half-asleep. And then he turned nine. Fourth grade was wrapping up, and I knew there had been some boy- and girl-crush talk at school: But then one night before bed, as I was washing the dishes, he silently appeared beside me. I asked what was up, but he just stood there in his cute little monster truck pyjamas.

In a flood of words, he told me he wanted to tell his friends that he was gay—it felt like he was keeping a secret from them, and when he thought about it too much, it made him feel sick. Cute kids' books about queer families'. My heart ached, and I wished I could rewind to the time when kisses and cuddles fixed absolutely everything. The protective part of me was hesitant and wanted to discourage him from coming out.

I worried about bullying, of course, and also that his friends might not react favourably. They were nine years old! My gay son who is in his 20s tells me it is hard to find people to date and is thinking of using an app. Do you know of any good sites he should try? Are they safe?

1. Helping Families Thrive™!
2. irish gay dating.
3. When a Loved One Says, ‘I’m Gay’: The Stages of Grief.
4. looking for gay friends.
5. Helping Families Understand Their LGBTQ Kids!

OK, first of all: It makes me literally giddy that I now get to sit down and share what I know about the subject, as someone who basically has a PhD in meeting people online just kidding, Mom. Not only is it safe, but at this point it is so extremely normal. When dating apps first surfaced, there was a huge stigma attached to those who used them. In fact, the majority of people I know met their partners using a dating site. But are they queer? If they blurted it out, they might be shocked by what they did.

Maybe you're not immediately thrilled with this news. Well, whatever. You should, however, be honoured they trusted you. Tell them.

Site Information Navigation

They might want to hug, they might not. Open your arms anyway andsee what happens. When they ask, answer honestly. This could help to forge a bond between the two of you.

Nobody says that. Including you, right? While there are phases when it comes to sexuality and coming out , these have been happening under wraps, beyond your ken, for years. They might not want to disappoint, upset or shock you, so they turn to others for counsel on how to approach telling you.

Asking this question is a good thing. Maybe it will provide you with someone else to talk to about it.

The thing here is, not growing up heterosexual or cisgender should not stop them from doing most things. Newer, less-restricting identities are becoming popular — especially among younger people — and while they might sound strange to you, listen with an open mind and show interest.