How to have the best gay sex

There are vaccines for Hep A and B. Less common but potentially more serious is Hep C. GMFA, the gay men's health charity. In the UK, one man in five dies before the age of If we had health policies and services that better reflected the needs of the whole population, it might not be like that. But it is. That model raises money but it seldom changes much. There is nothing inevitable about premature male death. Services accessible to all, a population better informed. Skip to main content. Buy the Booklet The Man Manual - men's health made easy in print. Related Tags Contraception Sex and relationships.

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Press Office. Related content How to put on a condom It's easy. Be sure. Man in a panic: Miscarriage from a Man's point of view Miscarriage is traumatic for men as well as women. Richard Burke talks about his experience. Deep breathing is far safer, helps you to relax and relaxes the arse too. How can I be a great top?

17 Tips for Being a Better Top

What is the Male G-Spot? I'm going cruising Don't put sex before safety. What about HIV? We now live in an age when PrEP gives HIV-negative men and women extra precaution against HIV transmission — a precaution that, according to every statistic available, is more dependable than regular condom use. But while PrEP has the potential to lower HIV transmission rates among the people who can get access to the costly medication, rates for other STIs like chlamydia and gonorrhea and syphilis are soaring among gay men.

I do not shame barebacking because most of my sex is bare and condom-less. I am a piggy guy who loves male bodily fluids — cum, sweat, piss, spit, in that order — but I also know my sex practices involve STI infection. Most clinics and LGBT centers say that sexually active gay men should receive a full-range testing every three months.

Since I am having regular bareback sex, I get tested every month, no exceptions.

The Gay Man's Good Sex Guide

Getting tested every month is not a preventative healthcare practice, but a responsive one. While I agree that most responsive healthcare regimens are less healthy in the long run than preventative care — our overmedicated society is evidence of that — I concede here that monthly STI testing and PrEP jointly face a present reality: This thinking does not work so well for HIV, since HIV can stay in the body for months before it registers on an HIV test, during which time the virus is very transmissible.

But for men on PrEP who make the decision not to use condoms, monthly testing is the minimum degree of self-care that you should practice. While bareback pigs frequently incur shaming and anger from people both in and outside the gay community, stigmatizing a lifestyle does little to address its reality. Barebacking is in, and the vast majority of homos I know do it. So rather than cast blame, the wisest response is for me and every health care worker and conscientious gay man to urge guys who bareback to get tested as frequently as possible. Being a cum dump means different things to different guys, but generally a cum dump is a guy who, for a certain, predetermined amount of time, takes anonymous loads in the ass from as many guys as possible.

Cum itself for many guys is the fetish, so being a cum dump kind of the ultimate goal for someone who fetishizes cum itself. Some guys take this to risky extremes and will stay blindfolded on a bed in a hotel room with the door unlocked for a day or two not recommended, since this can lead to bodily harm and loss of valuables and property. For others, being a cum dump may simply mean being a bareback bottom at an orgy or going to a bathhouse or sex club and taking as many loads as possible.

Whatever being a cum dump means to you, if you choose to do it, plan in advance to receive a full-range testing two weeks after and a few weeks after that. If you are planning to be a cum dump for a lengthy amount of time, you may need to clean deeply with a hose or shower attachment and, if you decide to be a cum dump away from home and the privacy of your home bathroom, you may want to carry a douching bulb with you for emergency trips to the nearest restroom.

There is a trick I learned at the Folsom Street Fair a couple years ago. If you take Imodium or some anti-diarrhea treatment and you do not, in fact, have diarrhea it will stop everything. Different gay men have argued the health benefits of doing this. It is probably not the best thing to do, but neither is excessive cleaning or really rough sex, which can cause hemorrhoids and fissures and other ailments.

Gay men do not always make the healthiest choices — in fact, my experience shows that we tend to make a lot of unhealthy ones — but we have perfected the art of fucking. There is a caveat to this trick: While I have generally had good success with Imodium, over-dosage has messed up my stomach and actually caused me to have a bowel movement.


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It can make you feel cramped and give you a stomachache, especially if you eat food after taking it. My backup plan is to always carry a douche in a drawstring bag, but this is not always doable. Fisting — inserting the whole hand into the anus — tends to draw gasps from people who are not into it, gay men included. Regardless, fisting is one of the most intimate and erotic sex practices I have ever experienced.

Guys into fisting understand pleasure and ass limits in a way that few others do, and theirs is a fraternity unified by red socks and red hankies and a gleeful love of all things ass. There are many books and websites on how to fist properly — Fist Me! The Complete Guide To Fisting by Stephan Niederwieser is a great one — but the biggest challenge for someone with dreams of being a fisting bottom is the hours of patience and practice that must come before he finally pushes past the knuckle.


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  6. You will probably not take his fist the first time you try, and that should not be your goal. Get comfortable, first and foremost, with getting fucked. Then start with anal toys, gradually working up to larger and larger sizes. When you feel you are ready to get fisted, only do it with someone with years of fisting experience.

    You do not want an amateur or beginner playing in your butt. Not only is getting fisted a sensory overload, but it requires more trust and vulnerability than perhaps any other sex act with the exception of various kink and BDSM scenes. Improper fisting can cause severe rectal damage and send you to the hospital, so only explore fisting with someone who knows what they are doing and someone who is sober. Go slowly and use lots of lube. You cannot use too much lube in fisting. Try different lubes to figure out which one you like the most. I am not sweepingly anti-drug, although I believe certain substances — heroin, meth — should be avoided.

    11 Crazy Hot Gay Sex Positions Everyone Will Love (Really!)

    Drugs come with a plethora of risks all on their own. They can lower your ability to fight infection, may diminish the efficacy of your antiretroviral medication, and can obviously cause severe addictions along with a slew of harmful side effects. You will probably do drugs at some point in your life, or have staggeringly drunken nights, or both. If you choose to have sex on any drug or mild-altering substance — alcohol being one of them — know that substances can limit your ability to detect pain or know when your butt has had enough.

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    I have friends that have used drugs to push their ass boundaries, gone too far, and wound up in the hospital. And I know at least two fisting bottoms who died of drug overdose at very young ages. If you choose to do drugs, remember that the most common sex drugs — Ecstasy, Molly, GHB, and the like — will act as accelerants. They will probably affect your stomach, especially if you have not eaten, and quite commonly will make you have a bowel movement.

    Gay Men Answer Sex Questions You're Too Afraid To Ask

    If you are able to carry a douche or enema with you, you might want to at least do a squirt after you take a hit. I must stress that regardless what you choose to do, sharing needles and injecting any substance into your body is an extremely high-risk practice that invites Hepatitis, HIV, and other infections. Steer clear of injection drugs. Some tops like a submissive bottom, others like a dominant one. You will only learn this through communication — so communicate!

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