And sure, it was kind of strange that he had given me his business card—some might even consider it a red flag—but at least I could tell my mom I had fallen for a professional.
Ecstatic, I grabbed my girlfriend and made a beeline for the bathroom, where we powdered our sweaty complexions and traded opinions about which celebrity Diego most closely resembled. Then I flashbacked to the fiery scene on the dance floor, and in an inspiring testament to mind over matter, began sketching out a course of action. My friends and I decided on a plan: The hours inched by as I toiled over drafting the perfect first text.
Wanting to play it cool, I waited until we were on our way to the beach to finally send it.
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To my delight, Diego answered minutes later to say that he was glad I had texted and that he was on his way. And when he did arrive, I swear the sun had never shone brighter.
Or maybe it was just the amount of light being reflected off his ridiculously sculpted and impossibly glowy was he wearing tanning oil? As the hours went on, I grew somewhat disenchanted.
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My friends, who were shaking out their towels and folding up their beach chairs, stopped and looked up. My friends took me aside and, muffling snorts of laughter, urged me to ignore him and to just walk away. But this was Miami, I explained, I was only a few semesters away from graduating, and the last thing I wanted was to be embroiled in a prostitution scandal.
So I took out the money, paid off my private dancer, and did what every responsible twenty-something kid in my situation would do and called my parents.
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