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What happens after? You are here Home. Information on HIV. Living with HIV. He was in shock. The whole experience made me feel guilty for not saying anything sooner. But I now know that whoever I end up with needs to be open and understanding, as there are times when I'll need their support.

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• Dating and living with HIV | Strut?
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It was a really valuable lesson in what I need from a partner. I actually met one guy on a gay dating app; while he wasn't HIV positive himself, he was bisexual and, after chatting, we met up and slept together. Still, there is a lot of work to be done to fight stigmas around HIV. People are so closed off and judgmental. That was certainly true for me.

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How I Learned to Get Over My Fear of Dating HIV-positive Men

Becky 1 August Share this: Copy this link. BBC Three. As told to Natalie Ktena.

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The A-Z of modern dating. Most Popular. These were the last words uttered by a man during my first sexual encounter after a seven-year hiatus from homosexuality.

Immediately I burst into tears—onto his dick. I was single for the first time since my early twenties and I was terrified. I quietly cried as I pulled my pants back on and hoofed it to my car where I sat contemplating the new reality of HIV in my dating life. After coming out at 16, before the dawn of the apps, I fumbled around high school and college attempting to date, which ended up largely unsuccessful.

And then, surprisingly, at the end of undergrad, I stumbled into a relationship—with a woman. I think I just genuinely fell in love with her, as a person.

Grindr shared information about users' HIV status with third parties

And, yes, our sex was amazing, but let's be clear, I'm gay. As in, never-ate-her-out, firmly-on-this-end-of-the- Kinsey-spectrum gay. After this stint, I flailed my way back into the testosterone-laden waters of man-dating, ill-equipped to deal with things like HIV. And the more I attempted to discover about the virus, the more I realized that I wasn't alone. My friends would often give vague non-answers to my questions, or avoid the topic completely. They seemed to know just as little about HIV as I did.

Since they couldn't help—and in an effort to avoid crying on any more dicks—I decided to do some digging. After some research, and speaking with several professionals, I surprised myself with what I concluded: I'd rather have a partner who is living with HIV than someone who isn't. I was surprised myself, but hear me out. Some of what I discovered contradicts everything we've been taught.

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From September of to May of , these participating couples provided detailed sexual diaries, accompanied by routine examinations, which produced a wealth of data that was analyzed, synthesized and then published. Jens Lundgren, director of CHIP , Centre for Health and Infectious Disease Research based at the Copenhagen University Hospital, and also the principal investigator on the study, tells me, "we found that despite studying more than 50, [condomless sexual encounters], none of the partners contracted from each other—there was no risk. This was wild to me—from what I've been told, these findings albeit from a single study weren't consistent with mainstream messaging surrounding HIV.

These results were saying that the risk of transmitting HIV from someone who was living with the virus and on treatment to a negative partner was negligible to non-existent. I had to dig deeper.