This is a capitalist country after all. Everything is OK to sell except for sex and companionship? That's just bizarre. Where I'm from, in America, there are a lot of Christian fundamentalists who would label you "bizarre" for being an escort. What would you say to the people who make those kinds of moral judgments about you? I am very spiritual, believe it or not. But I don't buy the dogma. I keep it simple.
The universe has laws.
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It's always expanding, growing; everything is in a constant state of change. It must love all things equally if it created everything and creation is done out of love. I don't think you can create from hate. Do you feel society stigmatizes you, as a male escort, less than it does your female counterparts?
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Oh, trust me, I still take flak—and occasional death threats. But it's much easier for males in my line of work. But among the bisexual guys I've dated, many have said they would never date a woman who did what I do, yet they'll date me. When they explain, it comes to down to general sexism. You've compared being a sex worker to a psychologist. What have you learned about the human psyche from your clients?
As a gay escort, learning how many people believe that "fitting in" is more important than personal happiness is the biggest eye opener.
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Many of my clients have a lot of repressed feelings and desires—and not only older clients. I'm still amazed how many young 18—year-old clients still feel they "have to" get married and yet don't want to. It's also quite evident how nationality and race affects those beliefs. Then there's a lot of clients who bring up early sexual experiences they need to relive and express feelings they've never talked about with anyone.
Do you feel you've helped any of these people in some deeper way? With a client in New York I met weekly over a few months, the effect the experience had on him—he was questioning everything, and he told me on our last meeting how his life had changed because of our time. He was happier. Family life, business, everything got better.
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He said he felt like he dealt with things that were beneath the surface. I've had lots of experiences like that, and those are the best in my opinion.
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You're campaigning to promote the legitimacy of sex work in the hopes it will lessen its stigma. What change do you want to see? It's about creating a safer environment. If no one talks about sex work publicly, it could continue to go deeper underground, which will only make it more dangerous for people forced into sex work against their will.
It's about recognizing that some of us are business people yet others aren't in it by choice—and they shouldn't be ignored. Which brings us to the charity you work with: The National Ugly Mugs scheme. What to they do? The NUM is very important and unique. It lets escorts make reports direct to the project to be logged in their database so other escorts can be alerted to any dodgy dudes.
Escorts can check the database and get alerts via emails, text, or the app. NUM helps escorts report crimes to the police anonymously. That's vital because most escorts won't report crimes, expecting the police to not be interested or do anything—or maybe even arrest them. That's because not everyone knows where they legally stand.
The charity works closely with all police forces around the country on behalf of street sex workers and escorts.
Everyone in the business would be smart to sign up. You're a guy. Do you think female escorts have to fear for their safety more than males do?
Reports that come in from NUM show males and females are more or less equally likely to suffer violence from clients. I weigh, like, pounds with a inch waist, so I guess I'm in the same boat. Any advice for escorts on how they can better protect themselves? It's about having a strong mind and the confidence to deal with situations. Being smart every time—taking measures as if you expect someone to be violent, even if there's no reason to think so. LONDON, UK — From his walk-up apartment on a fashionable gritty Soho block, Josh Brandon — a lithe, alabaster-skinned platinum blond in his twenties with elfin features and an easy laugh — runs a burgeoning business empire.
He tweets, of course. He runs an escort web directory, a webcam site, an online sex shop and an adults-only dating site. And Staying Rich , comes out in December. Brandon says he prefers the term escort to sex worker, prostitute and other labels for people who sell sex for a living. We happen to use sex as our service. Like Brandon, the majority of sex workers in Britain are self-employed and work from their homes.
His efforts have paid off. His endorsement deal is with a brand of blue-and-white luxury linens that adorn his bed. A gold-painted winged phallus stands in pride of place on a shelf, his trophy from the Erotic Awards, a kind of Oscars of the British adult industry, where he was named male sex worker of the year.
Born in a small village in a coal-mining region in Wales, Brandon dropped out of school at 14 and moved to London soon after. For all his success in the big city, he retains small-town manners. He offers a cup of tea and a seat on a comfortable leather sofa. Sitting with a cigarette in one hand, he assumes the politely attentive expression of a schoolboy.
His schoolboy costume is upstairs. A quick search of any combination of city, preferred gender and term that might describe a paid sexual partner — escort, sex worker, rentboy, prostitute — yields a dizzying number of results. Escort agencies come in at the top, followed by the websites of independent escorts like Brandon.
However, the internet is also enabling people to find partners willing to have no-strings-attached free sex more easily than ever.
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Most of his clients are men married to women. But doing sex work in the UK has advantages. It was a test, the man explained apologetically afterward: He sees up to five clients in a day. They can be an emotionally high-maintenance group: Brandon is often their first male sexual partner, an experience that can be both exhilarating and fraught with emotion.
De facto therapist is one of his many job functions.