Karen, who eventually ended up marrying her younger guy, found that the biggest issue stemmed from him not being as mentally ready for commitment. She had to bring up the topic of a relationship more often than anticipated. Men who are older tend to be more ready to take those steps toward commitment sooner. Often times it has more to do with how he perceives his maturity.

If the age gap is large enough, you may find yourself at a completely different point in life, which can be a bigger stumbling block that you might think. I could empathize with where he was, but the level that we related was different because of our age gap. Is he in a place in life where he can support and relate to you? This is something to think about when you are considering dating a younger guy or any guy for that matter. I always pictured being with someone older. When I started dating someone younger than me, I assumed there would be some big differences. After a few experiences, she learned to let go of some of her preconceived notions.

I didn't think I deserved what I knew I wanted. What I was doing in my early 20s, by dating older men, was showing myself that maybe there was hope. That someday I could make some money and be successful and create a life for myself, just like these older men.

It was a genuine sense of confidence from the inside. Most gay men never reach the end of this process, and many never start.

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The gay confidence issue is both sad and interesting to me. I guess if we were completely self-assured, we would just be straight men who had sex with men. But maybe there is a stopping point. I never want to be so confident that I am making Planet of the Apes movies.

Savage Love Letter of the Day: Older Man Can't Have LTR Because He's Only Attracted to Younger Guys

Unless they are starring Laura Dern. I think I could do well with that. Watch the short below. All Rights Reserved. Search form Search. Commentary , Love and Sex. Latest News Families.

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So far so good. Markeith Mccuin. A month ago, a young man the age of 19, chatted me up on Grindr. We started chatting and sent some pics of each other. We have been dating for a month now and have a lot in common to my surprise.

We both want the same things in life and are very much in love. We have a very good time in and out of bed. I take it one day at a time. I never noticed or thought about it before. My attraction is normally to young guys and his is to older so we are compatible there but more than that we are very happy together and very happy doing things together.

Older men, younger boys

I get immense pleasure from sharing something new with an enthusiastic young guy and have a natural protective instinct. I love sharing my experiences with him and he is happy to explore. It never occurred to me that I would end up with someone 20 years younger than me for the past year. A lot of it, I believe, is my midlife crisis. Sure I want this to succeed however the likelihood is small. I left him about 11 times, basically once per month however we eventually end up back together. We are from the same small community so everyone knows we have been in a relationship for the past 11 months problem 3.

And so on and so on.. He was We were together 17 years and married 3 years after DOMA was struck down.

Older men, younger boys | Savage Love | Creative Loafing Charlotte

Even though we had a 43 year age difference our life together was great and full of love. We learned from each other and took care of each other. The last two years I became his full time caregiver. He had to be on oxygen and was getting some dementia.

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He was the love of my life and I miss him more than words can say…. We love each other very much and I love and respect him from the bottom of my heart. It would just break my heart to see him go and I just find myself thinking how devastated I would be and keep wondering if I can take that kind of pain.

Something I have always wondered about also is that in these intergenerational couples are you guys open or monogamous or how do you handle that aspect of the relationship. Reading these comments really puts my mind at ease. Our connection is genuine, and we are madly in love.

Mind you, nobody has ever openly said these things to either of us, and rather it is all a figure of our imagination. It is what we think others are saying about us or thinking about us. All too often, gay or straight, we become leveled by norms or expectations and it can derail our true desires. Personally, I struggle with this notion, and I need to accept that my happiness should come first.

Our relationship is one built on trust and love. Both of us thinks that such a relationship eliminates intimacy. No anal sex though, since we agree that is something designated for love. It may be different for another couple, and I think that as long as the communication is open, then anything is possible. The best marriages are the ones where we can go out in the world and really put ourselves out there. Relationships are not perfect. It is imperfection at times and can be messy. Do not worry what others are thinking about you two. In order for us to tolerate imperfection and vulnerability in other people, we have to be able to accept what is imperfect in ourselves.

I love the fact that you communicate with your partner..

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I hope this helps. Jon, I would love to talk with you about your experience and feelings. I am 56 and my partner is There are so many wonderful things and yet so many worries that come with this. Ivan, you are right.

It can be so wonderful and yet so worrisome altogether. I hope you and your partner are well! How long have you two been together? Thanks for sharing your story with us. I am 21 and I am currently dating a guy 36 years older than me. Will they accept it? It feels like another coming out after coming out as gay. While it is important to put your feeling first, I wonder if you have any tips on how to cope with the pressure inside? My boyfriend is 26 yrs younger then me. I keep trying to remind myself I was 24 once too. He deserves to have his own fun and time.