My experience as a gay, black man - Ditch the Label (USA)

You take readers on sort of a 20 th -century American tour of heterosexual dabbling in homosexual behavior, and there was never a lack of evidence that such dabbling took place. So that was one of the guiding questions through the book: What happens when we pull all of this evidence together? Right, right, right. I talk about that as the logic of homosexual necessity in the book and that comes up a lot, this claim that, well, men have to do this for X or Y reason. The photographic evidence of an elephant walk in the book is really important, I think. You view it as a way of performing heterosexuality, even if the content looks gay from the outside?

Jamel on his experience as a gay, black man

My favorite examples of that were the casual encounters ads from Craigslist you included in the book. Hot masculine white dude here … looking for another hot white dude to come by my place, and work out a hot load side by side. Straight Porn only. Prefer str8, surfer, etc.

A lot of these ads, which are, after all, written by ostensibly straight men seeking out homosexual contact, are couched in this hyperhetero language. I think these are really gay men who are posing as straight men.

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Does it come from within? From family support? Or from the media? The media openly embraces white homosexuals and their lifestyles unlike homosexuality in the black community. I wonder as a young boy, if I would have seen a black, gay man on screen that I could relate to, if this would have led me down a path of acceptance, rather than rejecting my true self. It sounds ridiculous, but because I longed to have a network and support system I played up to this.

I was tired of being an outsider and I craved validation.

In a way, I even felt proud of myself because I was finally seeking approval from other gay men, rather than trying to fool people into believing I was straight. No one should have to act in a way that is unnatural — regardless of race or sexuality.

We need to stop pigeonholing — not all gay men are effeminate, not all black men are masculine. There are no rules. This website uses cookies to improve user experience.

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Instead, Ward argues, they reveal the fluidity and complexity that characterizes all human sexual desire. Nowhere Without It: The Popular Science of Heterosexual Fluidity.

Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men

Jane Ward provides a timely and convincing corrective. The book is about exploring the circumstances under which this situation can be said to arise.

She neatly breaks down common defenses given to 'explain' such actions Ward is not arguing that these men are 'really' gay or bisexual. Instead, her point is that what makes these men 'not gay' isn't their actions, nor the complicated and contradictory emotions that are involved in those actions, but rather, their commitment to straight, normative life.

The book also skillfully analyzes the often fluid nature of sexuality, race, privilege, and the taboo crossover behavior between sexually active men of opposing preferences.