Keep your head up, notice your surroundings and acknowledge the people around you. Fear of rejection is always the major inhibiting factor in finding love. Many people spot potential suitors, hoping that they will be the one to initiate contact. Stop letting opportunities pass you by.
When you go out, make sure that you strike up a conversation with at least one person; start with someone who you are not that attracted to, and work your way up to the guy who currently causes your IQ to drop by its square root. Get out there — take some time to focus on yourself. Think of the things you want to do, such as learn a new language, take up a new sport, etc.
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Taking up a hobby, such as joining a gay sports club, is a great way of meeting other gay people. Think about what you need to do to feel more attractive. The more profiles you flick through, the less likely you are to find a date. You might assume that they are promiscuous, desperate, do not have a social life or no one wants to date them. I could list a hundred pieces of self-help advice that you already know about how to find love, but instead I recommend that you stop creating obstacles to finding love, and become proactive.
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Sadly, that's pretty much the way life went for gay men until the Internet came along. After that, of course, the landscape changed pretty quickly. By the mids, we were meeting not in public spaces but online - in private chat rooms and, within a few years, through dating sites.
Needless to say, this made the getting-to-know-you process much, much safer though not necessarily easier. Things were further streamlined in with the advent of Grindr, the first-ever smartphone app designed for romantic purposes. Gays were way ahead of the curve on this one.
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Now, in , we've got Grindr, Growlr, A4A, Scruff, Manhunt and countless other ways to digitally meet and mate - and none of these online venues puts us at risk the way old-fashioned locales once did. Honestly, hanging around in a Macy's restroom for hours on end? That sounds so quaint.
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At the same time, how many people go online looking for Mr. Right but end up with something completely different -- be it a meaningless sexual encounter or a long evening with a toad?
In other words, even though digital devices make meeting and hooking up easier than ever, finding a long-term relationship can still be quite difficult. And with gay marriage now legal nationwide -- hurrah for the Supreme Court -- the thinly veiled line between casual sex and serious dating is more important than ever.
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Yes, sometimes marriage-minded gay men will make their online profiles crystal clear, posting statements like, "I am looking for a long-term relationship. If that doesn't interest you, then we're not a good match.
In response to this, some guys are turning away from modern technology and going old-school, opting for a traditional matchmaker. One such intermediary is He's For Me , a Texas-based gay matchmaking service founded by Tammy Shaklee, a straight woman who met her husband through a similar company. About her own experience Shaklee says, "I was 35, frustrated that I was still single two years after a long-term relationship had ended. My career was thriving and I loved life, but I worked too much and dating was difficult.