'Kinky sex':Accused husband reportedly paid male escort
More distinct characteristics, however, emerge among avid customers of prostitutes who self-identify as "hobbyists" and post on message boards that review call girls. Men of this more privileged class that cruise the Internet instead of the sidewalks for sex also have different views about prostitution. Compared with men who have been arrested for soliciting a prostitute, the "hobbyists" are more likely to say that prostitution should be legal, that they would marry a prostitute and that prostitutes enjoy their work, the researchers found.
Whereas the authors of the new study argue that hiring prostitutes is not necessarily an ordinary behavior, they say there's also little evidence to show that it's inherently deviant or linked to psychological deficiencies. That's in contrast to findings by some anti-prostitution groups. The sex-buying men were recruited through ads in newspapers and on Craigslist, and they were more likely than non-sex-buyers to have a prior criminal history, to say they would commit rape if they could get away with it and to have coerced non-prostitute sex partners into sex.
There are undoubtedly some johns who act violently toward call girls, but the new study found that most sex-buyers were unlikely to buy into so-called rape myths that have been linked to violence against women such as the notion that most women report a rape to get back at a man. The results suggest "john schools" that try to educate men who have been arrested for buying sex might be misguided for assuming that these offenders need to be treated for anger management and sexual addiction. Original article on LiveScience.
Megan has been writing for Live Science and Space. Plus, the idea of getting women off got me off. I loved sex. I didn't have a girlfriend at the time. Why not get paid to do something I enjoyed?
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Of course I worried about the fact that it's, you know, illegal. But that was part of the allure. And I think prostitution should be legal. It's no one's business what anyone does with his or her body. I know sex work is a very complicated area, with feminists standing on both sides of it, but I don't have a lot of sympathy for people who consider all sex work to be trafficking. That creates a lot of stigma for people making an independent living. Human trafficking and exploitation of women is abhorrent and should be stopped, but I think often, real issues like trafficking are used as an excuse for broad repression of sex workers.
So I came up with a pseudonym: I'm a huge Newman fan, and I relate to his character's boyish Southern charm. I built a website, and a woman I was sleeping with took photos.
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She knew about my plan, and thought it was both crazy and cool; it didn't bother her at all. My photos pointedly hid my face, of course: I didn't want the cops to come knocking. But I don't outright offer sex for money on my site — just companionship and conversation. I wanted to hint at sex without being over the top, so I didn't pose much; I just walked around and tried to be relaxed while she shot. My stomach lurched: Holy shit, this is real! We emailed a few times, then moved to the phone.
Oddly, I wasn't nervous: We talked about what I was studying and the books we were reading. I was relieved to find I felt comfortable with her. I'd start to learn that this is important; if the conversation doesn't click, then I don't get together with people. Veronica offered to fly me to London for a long weekend.
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I began thinking of all the things I could do with that money, and the stories I could tell If I were ever to come clean. I was definitely nervous when I boarded the plane.
Physical safety wasn't a concern; you always want to be conscious of it, but I'm 6-foot-3 and strong. Still, I called a good friend to tell her where I was heading. When I arrived in London the following morning, I went to the hotel and cleaned up, then met Veronica in the hotel lobby. She was blonde, blue-eyed, in her early 50s, and looked just like her photos.
Someone who knew what she wanted and had the means to afford it. She was married, but both she and her husband explored other things on the side. Veronica had made dinner reservations for us at a nice restaurant in Mayfair. At the end of the night, she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek but nothing more. For the rest of the weekend, we strolled the city, but that was it. She wasn't looking for sex, actually.
It sounds nuts, I know. I felt like I was supposed to have sex with her: Why else was I there? On the other hand, you have to do what the client wants. I just followed her lead. This was her trip and at the end of the day, it was a job. I'd always thought that the idea that men seek out prostitutes just for companionship was bullshit. But now I think a part of it is true. And as I've continued this work, I realized that Veronica wasn't that much of an outlier.
Two or three of my clients this last year mostly wanted companionship. The sex was secondary. Within the course of the following year, I probably saw one client a month. Most are in New York, where I live, but I'll fly anywhere. These rates are on the higher end for a guy, but they're lower than prices for most female escorts. Some of my clients are married, and I'm their secret. I have one client who's around my age and gorgeous. She's been married for most of her adult life; her husband doesn't know about me.
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For her, it's a mix of the need for intensity and a safe space to explore new things that her husband won't do, like bondage, spanking, anal play. I think our interactions have helped their marriage, actually. She's become honest about what she wants; they've started having sex with other couples. In fact, I often feel like a kind of sex therapist: A lot of my clients have been involved with men who aren't interested in what turns women on.
The advantage of hiring an escort is that I'm up for whatever you want to try. I've never really had an awkward moment with a client — [at most,] there have been uncomfortable silences when we don't have anything pressing to talk about — but when you're playing with a new person, it's part of the job to understand what they want, to ascertain their boundaries and desires.
You can feel that out before you meet just by asking, but you also have to pay attention to their reactions — what they enjoy, what they don't. This job is not simply about being "good in bed.
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I've been to sex parties and sex clubs, but I'm not a big fan. They tend to be trashy and forced, and I prefer to let things unfold more organically. Well … as organic as it can be when someone has hired you. I often meet clients with their partners too.
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Usually, the guy hires me to fuck his girlfriend or wife, or we'll have a threesome. I don't have sex with the guy though. I'm just not sexually attracted to men. Size is a big thing with couples — often, the guy wants to see his wife with a bigger man. I assume it has to do with a generation that's been watching porn and seeing well-hung guys having sex. Once a guy hired me to have sex with his girlfriend in a hotel for her birthday. She was blindfolded the whole time; she wouldn't recognize me if I bumped into her on the street.
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And then two weekends ago, another man asked me to sleep with his wife and her best friend while he watched. It was the wife's first time with another man. Everyone had taken molly, so they were raring to go. It was one of the more intense sexual experiences of my life: At this point, I know I'm pretty damn good.