Seek a friend first. Smile often and laugh more. It works! Ive stareted dating a man who is 20 years younger than me. He is 49 and I am He has an amazing career, owns his own home has bought a seaside cottage and is a mature man. I am 69 retired from my profession as an Architect and have been a full time Real Estate agent for two years as a second career.

I own my own home and tcare of all my own finances and have an adult daughter who I love dearly and is on her own. My new relationship is touching me deeply and he is feeling the same. I am tired of hearing that I am too OLD. Why is there such ageism in the gay community? I am not dating a man in his 20s. I am dating a mature beautiful man who has carved out a life for himself. Whats going on? By the way my BFF is Is there something in that? Thank You. Your email address will not be published. Gay San Diego updated their cover photo.

Now at your local news stand or visit us online at gay-sd. All rights reserved. Saturday, April 13, Home Columns. Here is that column. Have a great mentor in your lover and feel secure with them. Encourage them to stay active and healthy. Keep your peer group friendships. Give what you can financially to the relationship. Accept and even celebrate your differences. Lean on your lover too much.

Depend on them financially. Use sex to get what you want.

3 Essential Steps to Lasting Self-Esteem

Want to please your lover too much codependence. Have so much to give and you enjoy giving it. Feel loving and protective of your lover. I hope life has turned out to be a pleasant surprise for him in that regard. But too many of us find ourselves battling misleading notions around getting older. And that may be especially true for older men themselves. Men who are very young can sometimes rely on the beauty of youth alone to attract interest from other people.

Those who are beyond the blush of youth need to find other resources within themselves that appeal to others. That means starting from a place of being realistic and self-aware. First, understand the hard truth that no one owes you anything. You do not have a God-given right to stroll into a bar catering to men a generation younger than you and expect to have them hit on you. Compatible Partners — Review your matches for free. Most of us find men close to our own ages most attractive for dating purposes.

Second, understand that self-confidence is attractive. Cultivate your strengths and put yourself out there. If your realistic self-appraisal is that you are pretty boring, do something about it: For me, it lead to some very bad experiences dating older men. What were some of those experiences like?

When I told this one date who was in his late 20s that I didn't feel comfortable anymore, he ignored what I was saying and kept on touching me. I was so shocked and left as soon as I could. This other time when I was 19, a guy locked his front door while we were inside. It was the second time I had met up with him, but he suddenly started behaving weirdly so I eventually had to sneak out. Did anyone know where you were?

At the time I felt so ashamed about my sexuality, which is why I didn't dare say anything.

But that experience made me realise I needed to talk about what I was up to — and ever since then, I've always told someone where I'll be. How do you think the gay dating scene can be made safer for young men? The abuse of young boys who haven't come out yet is so common that we need the entire community to come together and support each other better.

Gay teenagers are fragile — apps like Grindr should block minors from using it.

7 Lines to Avoid When Dating Older Guys on Dating Apps

I was 16, and it felt like my only way of connecting with the gay scene. At the time, some family members and good friends knew I was gay, but I didn't know a lot of gay guys that I could date. What was your experience like on these websites? Just lots of older men talking to me in a sexually aggressive way.

Some have even offered me money to have sex with them. Did you meet up with any of them? I was living in a small town and it wasn't really possible. But I was very careful and only started dating once I was living on my own.

Young Gay Men Talk About the Dangers of Having to Hide Your Dating Life

When you went on dates, did you tell anyone where you were going? Not at first, but I quickly learned my lesson. When I was 17, I arranged a date with this guy, but when I arrived at his place there were a bunch of other guys there all taking speed. I texted my parents to come pick me up.

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I would have been happy to meet in public, but a lot of guys on these sites only want to meet at their place. Sometimes it's because they're only focused on having sex, but sometimes they haven't come out yet and are still struggling with their sexuality.

How do you think the gay scene can be made safer for young men? I think it's up to parents and schools to teach queer young people to be more careful about dating. We only seem to warn girls about meeting up with strange men.