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Even the goriest of movies never show the most graphic scene on the DVD cover. They leave something to mystery, plus they don't want to scare potential viewers away. A man who values an intellectual thriller is not likely to rent a movie with exposed intestine on the cover. Keep the intrigue by saving the details until you and your dream man are intimate for the first time.

Show a little chest or even a leg, but if you wouldn't show it in public don't show it online. By keeping your pics on the PG or R-rated scale you're showing your suitor that you're about more than just about sex. Graphic shots may get more quantity, but it's the quality of man you're looking for. Profile headlines can be a vehicle to attract the man you want, but they can also serve as the first line of defense against the man you don't. Think of your headline as an expanded version of your marketing screen name. Use this space usually characters long to describe your interests or the interests you desire in a man.

Elaborate on where your screen name originates or try giving a catchy intro to who you are as a person. Come find out!

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The first example is likely to attract a guy that's into travel like you are while the second shows your prospect that you are open to dating. Use your ad section as just that- an ad! You have a short amount of space to show your personality and call your dream guy to action.

Now that your catchy screen name and headline attracted a guy, clinch the deal with your ad text. Use the list you made earlier to help you write about your interests, including what you like and dislike in a man.

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You can mention your education, hobbies, or quirky personality traits. If you're a witty guy, give them a little taste. If you're the more reserved type, say so. I'm more attracted to a guy who's told me a little about himself more than one that is vague or leaves too much to wonder. How intriguing is it for a writer to find out that someone loves fiction or for a sci-fi movie lover to discover that someone has the entire Star Wars collection? These details may seem out of place for sites known for quick hookups, but relationship-oriented guys browse these sites too and your purpose is to find a date or long-term relationship which is about compatibility on levels beyond the physical.

Most online profiles ask for your age, body type, ethnicity, eye color, hair color, and height among other things. Be as specific as possible within your comfort zone, but never lie.

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Have you ever ordered something from a catalog and looked nothing like the picture in the brochure? Even the romantic who digs your winning personality over your physical features will see fibbing as an issue of trust. You may not be able to grace the cover of Men's Health , but if there is anything I've learned in the gay game is that someone actually many people will find you hot!

Privacy is important, but many HIV positive guys don't list their status because of the stigma that goes along with it.

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I had a crush on an HIV positive guy for years and the reason it didn't work out had nothing to do with his status. Of course, there must be communication about safer sex and health, but all couples should be cautious regardless of status. If you're comfortable listing your status, then do so knowing that it won't deter everyone. However, if you prefer not to list your results at least be sure not to lie. You want a relationship built on trust.

You and your date will have time to talk about it when appropriate, but giving him a false impression can be a quick turn off. Many profiles will ask about your sexual preferences. Sure you may like group sex, but is that a detail you want to disclose up front? If you are looking for the more relationship oriented type of guy, you may want to emphasize that you desire friendship, a relationship or even 1-on-1 sex.

Stating that you are looking for group sex or 3 ways in a profile sends a signal that you are promiscuous. You should never lie about the things you desire and keeping it bottled up inside is not good either, but think about your audience and try to assess what information is too much too soon. Just because your dream man doesn't like to do something now, doesn't mean he's not open to the possibilities.

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However, keep in mind he may be turned off by your desire before getting to know you. Another popular profile question is which sexual role best fits you.


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Are you a top, bottom or versatile? Do you just like oral sex or are you not into sex at all? Answer in whatever way you feel comfortable. If you prefer not to label yourself, then most sites have the option of choosing "Ask Me" or you can leave the field blank. It's not uncommon, however, to find a guy online that you really like but your sexual roles don't match up. Don't let this stop you. In today's complicated world, he might be calling work, his sitter, or his ex-wife to see if she can pick up the kids.

Chill out, and use the time to call your sponsor for encouragement. In the old days, it was common, and common sense, to say that, if you sleep with someone, you are also sleeping with everyone he's slept with. Nowadays, it's common sense to remember that, if you sleep with someone who's in a Step program, you are also sleeping with everyone in his Home Group.

Be prepared to be judged by all the members of the orgy.


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If you've met the guy online and have never met in person, and if his entire chat so far has been about how amazingly hot you are and how amazingly much he's into you and how he's quite certain you're the guy for him, he will hate you within 20 minutes of your date and you will never hear from him again. If you request an explanation, he will call you a stalker and block you from any social media sites you might share. While it's nice to have a grasp of current events and knowledge of local culture, it's no longer a first-date pre-requisite.

However, if you don't have an immediate answer for "Do you want to get married? Contrary to popular belief, opinions are not like assholes, because in today's gay world, assholes are glorious and sexy and displayed prominently in photos sent to you from potential suitors. Opinions on a date are more like your lesbian best friend: We know she's important to you and we're glad you have her, but we have no idea why you'd want to introduce us to her on a first meeting and turn the evening into a serious downer.

If you do opt to discuss current events, avoid anything so controversial it will destroy potential chemistry, like Crimea, Obama's job performance, or the relevance of HBO's "Looking. Fashions change, so know the basics: No flip-flops, no shaving, and, even if it is after Memorial Day, absolutely no white underwear. If you like the guy and want things to go well, put everything out on the table: HIV status, views on monogamy, and, for Florida residents, guns.

It's a sign of a true gentleman if you walk him to his door and he says it's too soon for you to come inside. It's also more than likely a sign that he still lives with his on-again off-again ex. If, in the heat of the moment, you do find yourself in bed together after the date, remember to keep the foreplay going for at least 30 minutes. This allows ample time for intimate kisses, exploring each other's body, and for the Cialis to kick in. Sadly, gay men are self-centered and narcissistic, so instead of talking about your abusive childhood upbringing and triumph over Legionnaires disease, read this piece over and over and out loud until I'm so happy I wet myself.

We're a match!


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