I don't like being the best friend, though. Another is public outness.

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I'm very out, but very aware of my surroundings and safety. We are not big guys, we are small and nerdy. Neither of us is muscular or intimidating.

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I know that we wouldn't be able to defend ourselves in a fight, so I'm always looking over my shoulder before I hold his hand. You'd think in this day and age that everyone who is gay would just be out. But unfortunately it's not true, some LGBT people can't come out to their families for fear of rejection. It's sad, but hopefully we can become progressive enough that it becomes easier for those people. It can be really tough to meet someone when you're gay because you have no way of knowing for sure of a man's orientation other than by using intuition.

Unless you go to a gay club, you just can't know for sure. And unfortunately, a lot of men, myself included, don't like the gay bars.

Most of the highest quality men I've met have been from dating websites and I'm not ashamed in the least. There's a definite stigma that straight people my age 24 face when dating online--at least in the crowd I run in. I always have to preface an explanation about how I met someone with how it's the acceptable thing to do with the gays. It's not fair. Straight people have a whole buffet of other straight people in front of them at all times.

If a straight male sees an attractive female from across the room, he knows there is at some level a "chance" that the two of them could be together. Obviously he may not have talked to her there, but odds are that basic framework of potential attraction exists.

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When a gay man spots another man, unless he relies on stereotypes, he really has no idea if this fundamental potential exists. Odds are against him. So, for him, he must spend a large portion of his time just finding out if that BASIC level of potential attraction required for any romantic relationship is there. Only after that can the other developments start. I think this especially true in more closeted circles like the area I'm from. Obviously in more gay-friendly areas it's easier to figure these things out.

You need a good gaydar to work out who is gay or open.

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Plus, just because you're gay doesn't mean you only fancy other gay people. That's not easy either. As a girly lesbian, I constantly get overlooked. If I'm in a gay club, everyone thinks I'm just some straight girl hanging about. I'm not gay enough for some lesbians and I'm forever having to "come out" to people over and over again because it's not obvious. Which I realise is not always a bad thing. People need to realize that LGBT people come in all shapes and sizes and rainbow varieties.

By now it should be obvious, but for some reason it isn't. As a femme lesbian, I have to come out over and over again like this woman. It gets annoying because you genuinely don't know how people will react, at the very least you don't want them to stick that gay label on you as though it's the most interesting thing about you.

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You feel safer in a gayborhood, but that is also typically a place where gay bashers will congregate if they get in that mood. Also, when I was in a less accepting place than here, when my former partner and I would kiss on a public date, such as a public park, and there were cops around, we would often get harassed and threatened to be arrested for solicitation whereas the straight couples that were there were given a free pass to go fuck in the woods. This is really sad but I had to include it because some people don't think that gay bashing still exists - it does.

That's one of the many reasons why we have pride, to show that we're a strong community who stands up against injustices. It isn't a huge deal but after 6 years together it eats away at you and becomes extremely grating. Okay, so it's not so bad. But I get it. The little ways in which we're treated differently gets annoying. It's like you're given little reminders that you're not what is considered "the norm". For this guy, the fact that he mentions the length of his relationship shows that he feels as though these little things invalidate his relationship somehow.

It's not fair that he should have to feel that way. It creates a small bit of paranoia, and apparently really isn't that uncommon. Also, for females, jealousy. We are still women! I'll be jealous that she's so gorgeous, she'll be jealous that I'm so thin, I'll be jealous of her hair, she'll There is not always a guy and a girl.

I understand its to connect it to something you might not understand, but sometimes there really just isn't one. Looks from people in public.

The nice thing is, usually they're nice looks, or more confused. Hell, I do it too! It's kind of a reminder of how far we've come. If I'm not feeling well on a date and need to go excuse myself she can and several have just been like, "Oh I need to go to the bathroom too, I'll come with you. This is hilarious but true.

Why do women always have to go to the toilet together? God knows. But it isn't great for lesbian relationships. Even if you don't let out an accidental fart in the bathroom stall next to your date, you still don't want to hear what they're doing in there, not if you haven't been together too long anyway.

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