This article was co-authored by our trained team of editors and researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness. Together, they cited information from 10 references. Learn more. Learn more Method 1. Go to a city that has lots of gays and lesbians.
How to Make Friends in the Gay Community
Studies have shown that there are more gays and lesbians living in cities than living in rural areas. This is not to say that gay and lesbian people don't live in rural communities as well! They may just be a little harder to find. Go to a gay or lesbian bar. If you want to make a gay or lesbian friend you can meet lots of them at a bar. Many towns have bars that specifically cater to gay and lesbian clientele. It may be nerve wracking to go the first time but just remember that many other people at the bar are there looking to make friends as well.
Even if you don't drink you can still make friends in a gay bar. Try practicing your pool game or going dancing at a gay or lesbian bar that has those activities. Go to a gay-straight alliance or LGBT community center meeting. If you are too young to go to a bar or you don't like going to bars at all you can find gay people in other places.
A good place to meet gay or lesbian folks is at a LGBT community center. In addition, you will have the opportunity to meet new people, and possibly make some friends. Attend a Pride celebration. This is an annual celebration that commemorates the beginning of gay liberation and cities usually have a parade and festival that occurs in June. Pride is a good time to meet other gay and lesbian folks in a fun and jubilant atmosphere. Consider marching in the Pride parade or attending a Pride concert or event.
These are all activities that could lead to a new friendship. LGBT Pride celebrations have a wide variety of activities associated with them. There is usually a parade but there are also usually concerts, parties, and festivals involved. Volunteer for a gay or lesbian organization. You are sure to meet other gays or lesbians if you volunteer for an organization that is working for gay rights.
Pick an organization that if fighting for a cause that you believe in and give it your all.
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That way you will make a difference in the world and you may make some good friends at the same time. There are a wide variety of causes that you can get involved in. For instance, there are organizations working for the right to gay marriage, for the legal rights of LGBT folks, to end violence and discrimination, and a ton of other causes. Pick the cause that is most important to you. Join a gay or lesbian sports team. In many cities there are sports teams, or even whole leagues, that cater to gays and lesbians.
Perhaps you are really good at soccer and you would love to play with gay men. There may be a team just for you. The camaraderie of sports can really be a great way to break the ice and build a lasting lasting friendship. Post on an online forum. If you are a gay or lesbian who wants to meet other gay or lesbian folks, try joining an online forum. This is especially good if you are a person that is very shy.
Online forums offer you privacy and eliminate the awkwardness that goes along with talking to strangers in person. There are a wide variety of LGBT forums online. Make sure that you find one that is focused on friendship, not dating, if that is really all you want. If you go onto a general website and you think someone is flirting with you, make it clear from the get go that you are only interested in friendship so that you don't hurt anyone's feelings.
Method 2. Act normally. You shouldn't act any differently when trying to make a gay or lesbian friend than you would when making a straight friend. Don't worry about only talking about LGBT subjects. Gay and lesbian people like to talk about other things too. Make conversation about topics you care about, in hopes that you have something in common with your new potential friend. Be on the look out for a gay or lesbian friend in your day to day life. Gay and lesbian people are probably all around you, you just don't know it.
Befriend people at work, in your church, at your gym, or at your salon.
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Your new friend may just be gay! Don't make friends with someone just because he or she is gay or lesbian. You shouldn't expect to get a stereotypical friendship when befriending a gay man or lesbian. Instead, you should try to make a gay or lesbian friend because you want a really good friend that you have a lot in common with. Forget about stereotypes. Gay and lesbian people lead a wide variety of lives and have a huge array of interests.
Don't assume a gay man is going to be interested in fashion or a lesbian is automatically going to be interested in softball. These are stereotypes and they are not universally true. Put yourself out there.
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While you can probably meet gay or lesbian people in your day to day life, it will probably be easier if you put yourself out there and go to them. If you are going to join LGBT causes, you need to really believe in the work you are doing. Don't just join to make friends. Join to make friends and make a difference in the lives of those you want to befriend. Method 3. Thank and commend your friend for sharing this piece of news. This is a huge, scary moment for your friend. Your friend is probably very worried about your reaction and the possibility of losing your friendship, or worse, being ridiculed or betrayed.
No matter how you feel about your friend coming out, the first thing you should do is thank her for trusting you enough to confide in you. Your first reaction is important. This is a big moment for your friend. If you need a second to catch your breath, that's okay. Listen to what your friend is saying. Even if you are surprised or immediately repelled by your friends confession, your friend deserves your undivided attention.
Don't give your gut reaction, but instead give your friend the time he needs to explain the situation and how he feels. This means that you should avoid preaching to your gay or lesbian friend. Be a good friend and listen instead of telling your friend he is wrong. You will probably have a lot of questions.
You can ask things like "Who else have you told?
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Ask for some time if you need it. Maybe being gay conflicts with your beliefs, or you're just so shocked and confused you really don't know how to react. Keeping in mind that this is far more difficult for your friend than it is for you, it's okay to tell your friend you need a few minutes or even a few days to process the information.
But if you can, give him a smile or even a hug to reassure him. Remember that your friend is likely terrified of your potential reaction and that he may have risked a lot by telling you.