Sometimes, he adds, a woman will go to an escort because she feels she's overweight or ugly, or because she's disappointed with how her husband looks. Twenty per cent of what I earn goes on my appearance, on the solarium, new clothes. He would prefer more female clients, but says he can't make good money working with women alone, as there aren't enough clients. They don't want to go out on dinner dates; maybe one drink to relax themselves, but that's it. Other sources disagree: Eighty per cent of the time I hear the phrase, 'This is my first time with an escort' and, usually, women like to move slowly at first.
Nikolas says he likes the money and freedom of escorting, but sometimes hates what he does and feels that he "loses his honour". But like the other male escorts I speak to, he finishes with some cheery sales patter: When we meet, he's casually dressed and fit-looking. But here-in lies one reason why male escorts have such a small market in Ireland. Most women have to fancy a guy to go to bed with him.
I don't fancy Nikolas or any of the other male escorts that I find online. And even if I did, I wouldn't dream of paying for the privilege.
It must be the convent girl in me. Not that all former convent girls think the same way. In New Zealand, broadcaster, former politician and convent-educated Pam Corkery announced that she was going to open the world's first legal male brothel in Auckland in Her 'romance meets finance' venture was to include a beauty salon blow dries , a room penthouse blow jobs and a bar. More than 1, men applied for jobs and Corkery declared the venture "a massive breakthrough for female sexual freedom". In one comment that made women sound like sexually demanding ladettes, she said: However, it seems the world just isn't ready for male brothels.
Corkery's venture collapsed for a variety of reasons, one of which, she claimed, was resistance from the male establishment. In Nevada, the Shady Lady ranch hired a male prostitute in in an effort to drum up business.
You meet all sorts in this line of work
Ten days after he started work, he resigned due to a lack of female clients. In , madam Heidi Fleiss talked about opening 'Heidi's Stud Farm' -- that too fell by the wayside, with Fleiss herself saying, "Why bother paying when you can go swinging or on Craig's List for free? After Nikolas, I go in search of an escort who works only with women and who operates as a traditional escort, accompanying women to social functions; the classic gigolo. I strike up an email correspondence with 'Patric', who says he's Italian. His emails come via a Polish server. He tells me he came to Ireland six years ago to work as a qualified masseur.
During one massage session in a top Dublin hotel, his English client, a year-old woman, offered to pay him for sex. On that day, I decided to become a male escort. It all sounds very Samantha, very 'Sex and the City', very text book. Today, Patric says he caters for affluent, modern, high-class women who lead busy lives but want the finer things in life. I can't tell you who the clients are, I wouldn't want anything to happen to you or me.
A number of places I visit specifically are Dalkey, Ranelagh and Malahide. He says women rarely want to be brought to dinner, but it's not just about sex either. Above all, he explains, a woman wants intimacy and to feel that the man focuses his attention on her. Some women treat it like a visit to the beauty salon or a massage. Every woman is different, but most start cautiously -- they email me and ask me how much, if they can see photos.
She pays me a lot of money because I spend a lot of time with her.
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Sometimes, I go just to play golf with her. I also have a friend, an Irish woman who used to be very rich; she helps me to meet new rich women, she arranges for me to call at exhibitions and other social functions to meet them. I know women who've slept with their bosses to get a good promotion at work. The world is ruled by money, power and sex, and if I'm going to hell for the work I do, I certainly won't be alone," Patric says. During my trawl through Ireland's online male escorts, I come across Mike, a single, fortysomething Clare man whose naturist-style photos look distinctly out of place among the soft-porn images posted by other escorts on one site.
There he is in all his white Irish glory, posing on a rock by the sea. No Calvin Klein boxers or spray tan in sight. Next to the ultra-groomed gay boys advertising near him, he seems ordinary -- a man next door doing something that you don't expect the man next door to be doing. I call him, posing as a potential punter. He chats easily, telling me he took up escorting 12 months ago after losing his job in a local factory.
I see women from all over the country and I can survive on what I earn," he says.
Most escorts I speak to assert that going to a hotel is safer for female clients, a theory I see no validity in. Then, I'll take you up to the room, have another talk and anything you want after that. Most women dress up to the nines to meet escorts; there's really no need, sure I'll be taking the clothes off you. Of course, behind the escorts' sales techniques and the innuendo, there are deeper issues involved. It's a problem that's beginning to pop up in marriage-counselling ses-sions, as therapist Tony Moore from Relationships Ireland testifies.
I had one couple where the use of a male escort by the wife was a major problem," he recalls. She had started using a male escort and used the same one all the time, which most women do for safety reasons. Her husband was shattered, just as most women are when they find out their husband has been playing away. In the end, the woman stopped seeing the escort and she and her husband came to some understanding, but how long can such an understanding can last? There's also a social stigma involved and women are more harshly morally judged than men. The therapist says Irish women do use male escorts, but it's not as prevalent here as in the UK -- and it's under the radar.
So it's not anonymous in the way that a man going to a prostitute in a brothel is. For safety reasons, the woman has usually been assured by a friend that the gigolo she's using is safe and she will tend to use the same one over and over.
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The reason it's marketed differently is that it's a very different experience for women. Women are more discreet and subtle than men.
Male escorting: What it takes to make it work
He adds: Also, in general, women aren't fuelling their sexual desires by looking at porn in the way that men are. It's very very different. Yet, he says, Irish women would never admit to using an escort: Whatever about the male hierarchy not being ready to allow women pay for sex as men have been doing for years, Irish women aren't even ready for that situation. David Coleman Teenage boys watch pornography. Estimates, based on the research evidence that I have tracked, suggest that about half of all pre-teens and teenagers between the ages of 11 and 16 watch Mary O'Conor I find myself yet again lying here on my own in the spare room, ready to pull the trigger on some revenue-spinning lonely hearts website.
But it never amounts to anything - I either don't push Confessions of a male escort. Catherine Murphy November 6 6: Other attempts at popularising prostidudes have failed. Who can afford those fees in recessionary Ireland? And, according to Tony Moore, Ireland is 30 years behind other European countries on this issue.
Too much, too young: Katie Byrne: Dear Mary: I found her ex-boyfriend's number on her phone - now I want Independent Style. I am a male escort based in the United States, though I travel the world for my work. I have been escorting a very long time.
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I took a few breaks over the years, but I have always been a sex worker for men. I have not explored sex with women as an escort. I am a gay man, and I only see men who engage with men. Note from website: Another blog will discuss male escorting from the perspective of an escort who provides services to women. Given the stance on prostitution in USA, this is an important context to understand.
The first thing I would recommend is for you to find out about the laws on sex work in your country or state as laws vary. I have been a sex worker for most of my adult life. When I was very young, I would read about street hustlers and I knew I wanted to sell sex for money. The truth is, I wanted to be wanted, loved, and objectified.
I wanted validation and boy did I get it. Sex work was not always just a way to pay the rent. Years into this work, it became a way of life and a way of connecting with other men intimately. So, everything I write is from my experience. I encourage anyone looking to enter this line of work to find and create your own experience. Sex work is very spirited and exciting, but it can also be exhausting, so take it easy, have fun, do your best, and help others along the way.
There is a very long story to be told about my career as a male escort.