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When Asian Women Are Harassed for Marrying Non-Asian Men

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Racial Bias Against Dating Black Women And Asian Men Is Very Real

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Can Asian Guys Attract White Girls?

The men harassing Asian women about their interracial relationships may not all know each other, but they are linked by a common ideology: The worst scarcity, they believe, is in the dating pool: The problem is that even legitimate concerns end up entwined with these more extreme views. However, most speak not about cultural representation and activism, but about what they perceive as a dearth of dating opportunities for Asian men.

The most toxic posts come from men who argue for racial purity and refer to Asian women as if they are commodities rather than people. I know this all too well myself. They have a valid complaint here: My tweet fed into those stereotypes that Asian men are unsexy, and when people pointed this out, I rethought my own biases.

Growing up, the only Asians I knew were my cousins — so, as I admitted, when I see Asian men, my first instinctive feeling is often kinship rather than sexual attraction. They send a screenshot of that tweet repeatedly at me and anyone who tries to support me, passing the. But for the women I interviewed, the opposite was true.

Nearly every woman acknowledged how hard it was to be an Asian man. Several women had hesitated to speak publicly about the harassment, fearing it would make Asian men look bad. I worry, too: The instinct to close ranks is incredibly strong, instilled in me since childhood by my proudly Chinese-American parents, and by generations of cultural tradition that says: But though these women still felt some solidarity with their harassers — family matters — that feeling is one-way. Even women who explicitly support Asian men can be targeted by this group if their support is deemed insufficient.


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  • Nancy Wang Yuen, a professor of sociology at Biola University, was harassed because she advocated for others in addition to Asian men. Few Asian men speak out, knowing that the harassers turn on anyone who displeases them. One woman said a prominent Asian man privately gave her advice about harassment, but he said he would get heat if he got involved directly.

    In another case, when an Asian man tweeted against the harassment of an Asian woman, the harassers contacted his workplace and asked to have him fired. Still others refuse to believe that the harassment is real: After I shared examples of harassment, some people tried to convince me that a white person sent the message to stir up intra-Asian infighting.

    This could be a very long con — but it seems unlikely. Officially reporting the harassment often leads nowhere, leading many women to stay silent. Asians are not a monolith; we will inevitably disagree on particular opinions or pieces of work. But empathy and thoughtful conversation must be the goal, and the entire Asian community must work together to end the misogynist harassment that prevents it.

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