Sober Gay Dating, Sober Gay Singles, Sober Lesbians, Gay Alcoholics, Gay Narcotics Anonymous

But putting this profound insight aside, experts have more seriously referred to alcoholism as the grandaddy of gay health problems. We are meeting the mysterious men at the drier end of the scale. Does that mean the duller end? We thought so, but after meeting a few teetotal homosexuals for a drink coffee, of course the grass started to look a bit greener on the sober side. Our parents influence us in many ways. But sometimes ma and pa can influence us in the opposite direction, as stage manager Antony Gibb can attest to.

He saw the effect alcohol had on his family and decided the only way forward was to ban booze from his life, permanently.

Related Stories

He admits: As my friends will tell you I enjoy good night out, and usually the more drunk other people get, the more I know I can get away with! I have a real need to remain in control of things at all times, which is what I guess makes me a good stage manager and supervisor.

But again, not for Ant. In spite of the uber-wild cooking wine naughty , it must be difficult to put up with constant pressure from friends doing a Mrs Doyle from Father Ted: He says: I always know when its a good time to go home before people go from fun to sloppy drunk. But not for everyone, as it seems writer James Murrs was more than happy to be the ever-dependable designated driver to his lucky pals.

8 Best Free Sober Dating Sites (12222)

But why? We grill the reformed boozer about becoming master of the mocktail. My friends all were of course. It would literally be one bottle of beer. And with a tale as old as time, from that moment on the story went: Sobriety came to me first as an exercise in financial restraint.

Find Friends Through Intuitive Profile Creation & Search Capabilities

There were other reasons to experiment with being dry, too, like physical and mental health, but when it came to telling friends, frugality seemed like the simplest rationale. Fried's been sober for a year now. People think that sober people are uptight, or broken in some way, or sick. And that's really unfortunate, because it's the healthy choice. Although it's not unique to queer culture, the dominant role booze plays in our social networks has been making me wary.

And even if the event isn't officially sponsored by a beer or vodka brand, you can be sure that plenty will be flowing. Even when connecting on your social app of choice, the natural next move—besides sex—is to grab a drink together. Chris Stedman, author of Faitheist , quit drinking six years ago, when he realized he was unhappy with the decisions he had been making under the influence.

Single Gay Guys Interested In Sober Dating

We have a fraught relationship with them, and alcohol can be a disinhibitor. It can be a tricky call to make. While booze has spawned plenty of guilt and regret in my life, I can honestly say that it's also helped me access parts of myself that I might not have otherwise. Liquor played a key role in my ability to come out; two or three drinks in, I could let slip how hot I thought a male friend was, or I might try striking an unfamiliar femme pose.

Seth, trans masculine and sober for 18 years, remembers me in those days. Even at work, he saw right through my straight act, and so when we met up again years later to discuss my sobriety and his, I couldn't help but remember how much I relied on his encouragement back then just to come out. I'd relied on alcohol as a social catalyst for years; it's nice not to need it.

Loneliness is a common denominator among the sober queers I've talked with. Chris described it as "standing on the edge of the experience" and feeling like "everyone else is participating in this thing that I'm not. The easy solution might be to associate only with sober people, but that's not an especially appealing prospect. Over time, I learned it took less and less alcohol for me to sing karaoke or dance or strike up a conversation. I started to realize that without booze I could be more present, that I could face desire nakedly.

• Gay seeking Male;
• Gay seeking Male;
• gay dating sites older men;
• older gay dating app;
• Gay, Sober, and Looking to Connect? There's an App for That..

Full sobriety, it struck me, could be an opportunity to engage socially without a chemical veil—something that seems anathema, if not downright subversive, during Pride. And Kremwerk turns out to be a perfect place for a test run. My friend Eamon, who is sober, has sent me dozens of invites to see him perform, and now I'm finally here—early enough to have any seat in the house. The social insecurities prompted at the bar fade into the night. The show is impressive, hilarious—I can't tell if Eamon is more gorgeous in or out of drag.

Conversation comes more easily than I'd expected, but it's still nice to have that glass of tonic in my hand, even if it's not actually rearranging my brain chemistry. It's only the next morning that I realize I forgot to tip all evening. The guilt tickles my conscience, but it's not nearly as vicious as on mornings after drinking, when my mind raced through blurred memories, praying desperately I didn't make an utter fool out of myself.