Look at how low those numbers are! I was surprised at how little gay men use Facebook as a way of meeting other guys. True, you can hit on your friend's friends a long tradition with our people , but there are surprisingly few gay men who belong to Facebook pages that are devoted to getting guys to meet each other.

For the record, I'm not counting the Facebook offshoots of large dating and hook up sites like Manhunt or GrindR, but organic pages devoted to gay dating, of which there are hundreds. Just type in "Gay dating" in Facebook's search box and you'll see what I mean. In fact, the reason I did the research is that Facebook does not rank the gay dating pages by how many members are in it, so it's incredibly difficult to figure out who the real players are without combing through hundreds of listings.

While there are hundreds of pages, very few people actually belong to them technically, "Liked" them. Most likely, it's because Facebook does not give you the privacy or anonymity that large dating or hookup sites online give you. On gay. You don't have to put your real name or what you do or who your friends are. Hell, you don't even have to put a picture of your face up there. Torso shots will do.

But on Facebook, that's not possible. So the only people who join Facebook's gay dating pages are people who are so far out of the closet they can't find their shoes. So how is it possible that the most popular Facebook page belongs to a closeted group like gays in the military?

Presumably, all the members are former military. What else could explain the irony? But wait there's more.

There are two other popular pages whose members belong to highly closeted demos: African-Americans and older Americans. Isn't that funny? Members of the most closeted groups use the most blatantly open website to meet each other. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Here's the list ranked by of Likes: Gay Mature Dating 6, Click here to see the next five in the top 10 Facebook pages devoted to gay dating.

Mike Alvear. Author of Eat It Later.

You’re trying too hard

I'm still single and I really can't tell if these venues for meeting guys really work Think more of the problem is gay culture itself. Finding men that are men that know what they want out of life takes time. Shallow is the thing that runs rampant in the culture and it just gets old. Main thing, you have to be true to yourself and what you seek and stay away from all the unnecessary drama and bull.

In bigger cities, these are options, where I live, things to do or clubs to join are pretty much non-existent. Just have to remain positive and realize you don't need someone in your life to be happy A little about me I currently live in sunny Arizona.

Tomorrow The World

I go to as many Festivals here in the valley as much as I can. I write poetry script writing I love the Art galleries here in the valley. If your living in the valley hit me up. The problem that I have is often on dating sites there are a lot of effeminate men and not men's men. I need a guy whom Is serious. I will love him as a husband and treasure him. Please anyone there? I begin think I,ve tried them all. I hate going now to bars there use to be good quality guys there but not any more. I use to meet good quality men at a straight gym.

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I find the gay community in the gay village are real snobby "if you are not a typical gay activists or look a certain way they want nothing to do with you. I would like to just talk to you and I hope you can help I have been looking for someone with a good persanoite I can't seem too find any one. I'd like clarify something in regard what dating websites generally dont and is because places like OLCupid, albeit free and with many men options, by being free anybody can use it, couples looking for a third for fun or love, bored men browsing and looking to find, simply guys looking for and because of there's a lack of "quality men" we found ourselves going on dates that don't workout if they don't flake on you the very day of the date For those of you who are SERIOUS and commited to find a partner, you need to chose more discretionary websites that usually comes with membership costs they vary based on different factors but all aimed to pair you with the right candidates.

No one who pays money even top money for dating online services unless seriously invested and a great gatekeeper for bored couples or gossipy flakey men. Hello age 27 am looking for a nice guy to date with please help me am single, from Southern Africa Zambia.

Someone who is mature and good to me. Perhaps I'm single because of my personality. I've been told that I am peculiar and quirky. I wish I were somewhat average sometimes. Deep down there I am still that shy and lonely guy who dreams about a little home for me and a man to protect me and love me. Nonetheless, I try to remain strong and confident.

Well, that's life. Life is a mess. Life is a bitch, but this doesn't mean you have to be one. I'm not.

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I think the problem is all this social media hype and a radical overuse of technology. Most people dont really want to be labelled or have to fit into defined groups in order to meet other people. My advice and i have never been alone for more than two or three months in all my 65 years is go out, or as my mother used to say, join clubs.

Nothing changes only that the powers that me want to control us better for their own nefarious purposes. Im looking for someone i could share the hardship and joy of life. Someone with whom i could take pride in each of our victories and put my backs and tears behind each of our struggles. Someone who would see the virtue of a knight instead of madman. Someone with whom i could strive for greatness.

The one who would forgive my trespasses for i too am still learning to love. Someone who does not give up on words and promises but are willing to go through pain and wrong while building something and perhaps the only thing that really matters. Is out there another madman another man of chivalry?

Or have all days of glory passed in favor of cheap hedonism? David from 4 months ago I've been in a relationship for 30 years I'm not sure monogamy is the answer either. I think we need variety. There is no easy answer, unless you meet your soul mate. I live on the side of a mountain in a great home. Your site is for those great looking hunks that didn't score last Saturday night. Sorry for the bad grammar and misspelling in my previous comment, basically what i was saying is that the stereotype of muscle men that most gay men want Just want sex And from what I've gathered Most gay men in general So in their minds, they don't need to be tied down.

I'm pretty much over the dating scene, and don't even want to hook up Barely any gay man close to my age 20s really wants a relationship these days I'll preface this with saying its an opinion based on anecdotal evidence and personal experience, rather than statistics. I trust much of this will ring true to many though. Also I feel none of this contradicts the above. As a gay man happily partnered for 10 years now trust me More often the lack of gay population seems to be secondary to the mindset of partner hunting developed unconsciously from the scene, in which a 6 pack or big guns are considered more important than the ability to put two words together, let alone for any type of emotional connection.

When I ask my friends what their ideal partner is, despite them being great boyfriend material, their 'type' has evolved into primary importance on physical attributes and anything else is secondary. Invariably this leads to very short-term relationships as they get to know each other beyond mutual interest in the gym. It also means that anyone who doesnt have the ideal physical profile can suffer from low self esteem, and the growth rate of eating disorders among gay men have never been higher.

Then there are the ones who want a boyfriend, any boyfriend, and think of single life as being hell. As a result they either pick poor matches doomed to failure out of desparation, or sink their claws in on the first date and jealousy and fear just destroys any chance of getting further. So, to add another item on the list, I'd recommend opening your mind up to looking beyond your pictured 'type' because it might jut be putting blinkers on, and if you are still single after exhaustive searching then it clearly isnt working for you.

Be happy and confident with yourself as a single person who doesnt 'need' anyone to make you feel complete. Finally, keep in mind in the tightknit minority community, chances are a high percentage of your friends and acquaintences are gay. Look again beyond your existing relationship with them and you might find something more. Thanks Sherya, I appreciate you sharing here. Always needs to be an alternative to the bars for sure! Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners.

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