Some people actually find that this works out for them pretty well. Often people are just fine doing what is expected of them in this way, even if they are aware that they are relying on stereotypes. It can lead to them having the kinds of sex that they enjoy anyway and it can be spontaneous and exciting. However, not everyone who is supposed to top will want to or will enjoy it and not everyone who is supposed to bottom will want to or will enjoy that either.

For example: Even if the sex was consensual it may well just be rubbish sex because they were both not really doing the kinds of sex that they actually find hot. There are, of course, lots of different kinds of sex that people find more enjoyable — more about this here.

Some people like to talk about who tops and who bottoms or even whether this is important for them at all. Like I was saying before — topping and bottoming can be about a particular activity. He really liked that. Even though they specifically consent to this and are really really into it, I have to remember that they might find it harder to tell me if anything is wrong. So if you can talk about who tops and bottoms first then that is great.

How Consent Feels — and a simple way to practice it. I mean most people would just be mad about the comment and be also unpolite theirself but you even offered to explain it again for this person. And I think that you already did a pretty good job with this article. I did say it was complicated because it has several meanings which I cover at the beginning. I can give you an answer more relevant to your situation if you want to give me a bit more info? Notify me of follow-up comments by email.

Notify me of new posts by email. I'd be massively grateful if you could give me some feedback about bishUK. The more comments I get the better I can make the site. The Book. What Does Top and Bottom Mean? Posted in Sex Some people like to top and bottom when they have sex, but what is this, who does what and do you have to do it? It can also be who is more active top or passive bottom during sex. See all the posts about how to have more enjoyable and consensual sex Who is the top and bottom Sometimes I get asked about how people work out who is the top and who is the bottom.

Talking about who tops and who bottoms Some people like to talk about who tops and who bottoms or even whether this is important for them at all. Want more? Is this real all that important? What about those who are versatile? It seems to be that there is too much fixation on what someone does with thier genitals. I mean there are those who are agressive and submissive in romantic encounters. What are your preferences for form and function? In that way, gay men are way more picky than woman in life matters and sexual play, but also good at prioritizing their choices. It is actually a horrible shame that gay males cannot make genetically other male babies with each other in their lifetimes in this era.

Whereas most FemiNASTY women are anti-male and seek to sex up the bad boys while financially raping productive Beta Males and in the long run, degrade the value and strength of their local male gene lines. There are some statistical errors with the paper e. That aside, the paper tries to tease out our actual ability to distinguish from our natural bias to classify men as tops that is, even knowing that half of the faces are tops and half are bottoms, people are categorizing more than half as tops and less than half as bottoms.

One more gripe. Some people are versatile. Some people just are not versatile, and no amount of shaming or head-scratching will change them. Nor should they have to change. Thanks for the read, SS team. LOVE this article!! But then, this is an area of research science i am very familiar with. For those who actually care about science along with the studies on the Golden Ratio and how it affects our perceptive judgment as early as a new born, my suggestion is to study the chemical biology behind Sociology and Psychology before irrationally commenting.

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Such a disappointment. Is this really why you are willing to suffer the discrimination we all face, just so you end up as the clownish version of a straight pairing? What makes this study so unscientific is how they had little to no control over questions of grooming which can alter the perceived masculinity of a face drastically, from haircut, facial hair, plucked eyebrows, etc.

Thank you so very much for your response. When I finally tried it and loved it, I stupidly decided that I was a bottom. Unfortunately I fell into the trap of thinking that this was somehow my destiny. I realize now that, just as you suggest, this narrowminded view of my own self was the product of a more restrictive time and place that stopped me from realizing all of my possibilities. A side note: Although this receptive tendency is supposed to stretch across all aspects of both our sexual and our nonsexual lives, I never particularly liked giving head.

But I also never had trouble finding tops who enjoyed going down on me. Now I am 51 and live in Latin America. For the first time I find myself attracting and being attracted to younger men who want me to be the top or active activo , at least part of the time. Screw what the studies say and screw what I thought about myself for so many years. I am going to have really great sex in my new position.

And finally be All that I can be. Sorry I am a bottom or preferably so when indulging in same sex so explain that. Covered in Tattoos, shaved head, work out, work on cars and Construction by trade…..

I gotta say I think stereotypes are for the birds. Hi Robert — I just read your comment on the original post and it was a real breath of fresh air. Gay stereotypes exist for a reason.

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Most feminine gay guys have gender identity disorder but were shamed from wearing womens clothes or doing feminine things as a kid. Without the shame the rest of them will end up Male to Female trans. The rest of the gays had some sort of sexual abuse in early childhood.

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Todd K Autman. I think Id be considered a power bottom. Doc Hogan. Sweetie Fernandes.

Mary Melendez. Juan Sebastian Bottazzini. Proves my point gays are absolutely devoid of substance. Josh Whitfield.

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Giggle Snork. Michael Cooney. Steve K.