For example, 7 percent of gay men reported undergoing cosmetic surgery in the past year, compared to just 1 percent of straight guys. In addition, 37 percent of gay men went on a weight loss diet and 12 percent had taken diet pills in the last 12 months for straight men, the numbers were 29 percent and 5 percent, respectively. The higher prevalence of diet pill use among gay men is especially concerning given the well-documented dangers associated with weight-loss supplements.

Related to this, other research has found that gay men are at a heightened risk of developing eating disorders, such as anorexia and bulimia. For example, in a study that assessed eating disorder symptoms, just 1 percent of heterosexual men met disorder criteria, compared to 10 percent of gay men. By contrast, 13 percent of heterosexual women and 9 percent of lesbians were categorized as having an eating disorder.

Eating disorders pose a serious health risk in that they have the potential to negatively affect functioning of the heart and other major organ systems throughout the body. As a result, they can potentially be life-threatening. Beyond eating disorders, body dissatisfaction among gay men also appears to contribute to higher rates of anabolic steroid use, which are often used to address concerns about muscularity.

Usage of anabolic steroids can have a detrimental impact on the cardiovascular, endocrine, and nervous systems; it's also linked to an increased risk of death.

"I lost weight to find a man and fit into the gay community – but it’s not working"

A recent study of nearly 3, gay and bisexual men in Australia and New Zealand found that 5 percent had used steroids and 25 percent were thinking about doing so. They were also more likely to hide certain parts of their body during sex, including their chest, stomach, and genitals. Most telling, when asked whether their feelings about their body have caused them to avoid sex, 20 percent of gay men said yes, compared to 5 percent of straight men. In other words, gay men are four times as likely to avoid having sex with a partner because they are dissatisfied with their looks.

All in all, what these data tell us is that a lot of men have body image concerns stemming from media pressure to be fit and muscular. However, these concerns disproportionately affect gay men, increasing their susceptibility to eating disorders and risky health practices. More research and public awareness of these important health disparities is needed so that we might encourage prevention and intervention efforts.

Justin Lehmiller is the director of the social psychology program at Ball State University, a faculty affiliate of The Kinsey Institute, and author of the blog Sex and Psychology.

Sure it is. How do I get my hands on one? Will anyone let me touch theirs?

Found the story interesting?

And to work through this, what you have to do is go out and pull, obviously, or get busy on the apps. But while a hearty tug from a handsome stranger will certainly help you answer a few questions about yourself, it is, in fact, not necessarily the first stage on your path to having an enriched gay life. Growing up LGBT can be lonely, isolating, puzzling. You have put yourself out there.

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And nobody can take that away from you. Your weight loss is a tremendous achievement, and I suspect you more did this for yourself than you did to attract men.

A Fifth of Gay Men Have Avoided Sex Because of Body Shame

Feeling happier with yourself and healthier in general, no matter what your size, is the first step to being comfortable in your own skin, which is much more important than fitting in with anyone else. For the moment, put the hunt for love right out of your mind. Do it. Instead, focusing on doing things for you, with a gay slant.

There are plenty of groups out there for gay guys who want to spend their time doing something other than scroll past a million mugshots on a dating app. Gay choirs, gay discussion groups, gay volunteering schemes, gay outdoor activities, gay book clubs, gay cinema gangs, gay cookery classes, gay cocktail tasting sessions.

How much would you learn about yourself staring into a gin and tonic in a boring gay bar, anyway? Meeting guys with similar interests and the same goals as you is a much better way of finding your place in the LGBT community than trying to identify with people solely on sex and looks. It will make you feel disillusioned and give you the wrong impression that everyone is out to exclude you, and that is not the case. Like attracts like — leave the dickheads to it.

“I lost weight to find a man and fit into the gay community – but it’s not working”

As for the relationship stuff, you will worry, you will be anxious, you will dread the morning that sees the pillow beside you empty yet again — and this is OK. Use this time to enrich your life and get to know yourself, not just to make yourself a more attractive prospect to others — although it does sound like this is important to you — but to be a better person for yourself to be around. As for sex, why not create a niche for yourself or seek out subcultures that are more like you in both mind and body.

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At times, being gay can be like getting caught in a high school clique. We all are. Make good, honest friends first and see where that takes you.