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Getting better at bottoming required me to see through all that, and trust my experience. In my mind, I continuously returned to that first experience. It felt right because it was right. It was the opposite of shame — it was my body doing what it needed to do. Today, bottoming is an awesome part of my life.
It’s Time to Take Your Temperature on Topping and Bottoming
If you want to try bottoming, here are five pointers to get you started, with more to come in part two. Calling myself a bottom has pros and cons. On one hand, I have an easier time finding tops — guys who enjoy taking the active role in sex. On the other hand, putting myself in a box is frustrating when I want to top.
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In my experience, most people are versatile in the right situation, or with the right person — I am. These labels make finding sex partners easier. Before hookup apps like Grindr and Scruff established these words as standard sex vocabulary, queer men used discreet street coding — colored hankies, certain types of clothing — to discreetly tell each other what kind of sex they were looking for and which role top or bottom, dominant or submissive they wanted to take. Bottoming is usually not extremely fun on its first attempts. For many, bottoming is uncomfortable in the beginning.
With practice comes pleasure. Once you get the hang of it, bottoming feels great.
Anal sex has just as much risk as vaginal sex for unwanted sexually transmitted infections like chlamydia and gonorrhea, and since HIV is more common among certain populations transgender women of color and men who have sex with men , anal sex poses a higher risk of HIV transmission for these people. I am also HIV-positive.
All sex — bottoming, topping, sucking, handjobs — involves risk. Learning about those risks and taking the necessary steps to minimize them protecting yourself and playing smartly gives you the freedom to enjoy bottoming without fear. Yes they can. My boyfriend leans bottom, and so do I. But while tops and bottoms are equal, their differing roles do come with different health issues and responsibilities that every gay and bisexual man should be well informed about, regardless of sexual position. All sexually transmitted infections are bad for your health. However, they are not all created equally.
In general, condoms do protect against STIs that are spread through bodily fluids semen, blood, and anal or vaginal fluids. STIs that spread through skin-to-skin contact herpes, HPV can still spread with condom use, especially if either partner has any open sores or lesions. In terms of focus and clarity, this discussion will singularly focus on HIV.
The insertive partner in anal sex between cisgender gay men biological men who identify as men , or transgender gay men, or frontal, vaginal sex with transgender gay men. There is nothing like a good top. There is a general misconception that there are few to no health risks associated with topping, but a good top knows that he has to think about his sexual health and safety just like any bottom out there.
A guy who is topping is generally at a lesser risk for HIV than the guy who is bottoming, but both topping and bottoming during unprotected anal sex is considered high-risk behavior. Having another STI can further increase your risk for transmission. Research also suggests that uncircumcised tops are at a higher risk for HIV infection than those who are circumcised. When topping, it is arguably more important to know your HIV status. If you are HIV-positive and not on treatment, you may have a high viral load that places your sexual partner at higher risk for transmission.
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- How to Know If You’re a Top or a Bottom - GQ.
- Genetics May Determine if Gay Men Are Tops or Bottoms!
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If your partner is HIV-positive, you are still at risk but that risk is reduced, especially if he is on treatment and his viral load is undetectable. A condom or PrEP are your best options for protection, because they place you in control of protecting your partner and protecting yourself.
How to Bottom: Queer Guide to Anal Sex Part 1 - them.
For a top who is HIV-positive, maintaining an undetectable viral load through consistent use of medication and care is the best method of protecting himself from transmitting the virus. The receptive partner in same-sex anal sex for cisgender gay men or transgender gay men, or frontal, vaginal sex with transgender gay men.
- Are You a Top or a Bottom? Here's How to Find Out!
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- Gay Sex Ed: Topping and Bottoming .
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- Gay men's preferences for "top" vs. "bottom" can be judged by their face. - Seriously, Science?.
Tops may get the glory, but bottoms make the world go round. To be a good bottom, a guy has to know what works for his body, how to maintain a healthy and hygienic rear end, and how to navigate his sexual health without compromising his pleasure.