If we make plans to meet again AKA a date the other guy really just wants to have sex, no matter what we have put on the agenda.

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I was waiting to get a haircut today and the guys waiting on either side of me at the salon were both going through hookup apps the entire time they were sitting there. Or, my favorite, preferred sexual position. I joined a sports league hoping to meet people in some other way. All we do after playing is go out and drink. Or go to a restaurant, where everyone is looking at hookup apps on their phones while we wait for the food.

But it seems no other gay men have the same desire for a relationship as I do.

Is this just a D. When I have sex with someone I just met, I feel sleazy and really unsatisfied.

So clearly, there are many guys out there looking for more than an endless string of hookups. Time to move on. The question to ask yourself, again and again: What else can I do to meet another guy whom I might like to date? Summer is drawing to a close but there are still plenty of group activities for gay men with all kinds of interests. Look around, find some possibilities you might like and jump in.

Do you have any religious faith? Find a gay-friendly service to attend. Take a class in some subject that interests you, at an institute of higher learning or a museum. Start a meet-up and see who shows up. Join a gay hiking group. When I walk by a bus stop at rush hour, it makes me sad to see everyone staring at their phones. If this happens, consider taking a chance and actually saying hi.

These are my ideas and I imagine that readers of this column may have many more inspiring suggestions for ways you can meet guys without going online. Request to all readers: Like many men grappling with their sexuality, the year-old initially struggled to settle on a single label like "bi" or "gay.

After coming out as bisexual in while starring in Made in Chelsea , a British reality TV series, Locke eventually split with then girlfriend Catherine Louise Radford in and came out as gay. Over the years, Locke would turn to gay social and dating apps like Grindr to meet other queer guys. But those experiences made him think the queer community needed a new kind of app, telling me that the status quo seemed "outdated and disheartening. Locke isn't alone in his assessment. For some users of gay dating apps, a daily ritual can verge on addiction.

And it only takes a quick scroll through these apps themselves to encounter guys who express dismay with them; statements like "deleting soon," "no hookups," and "no unsolicited nudes" are common in user profiles. That dissatisfaction is reflected in Grindr's 2. Then there's rampant spambots and frequent glitches to contend with, which can sometimes make users' lives a living hell.

By no means is this all exclusive to Grindr, but Grindr pioneered geolocation-based gay dating apps in the first place; as the first and one of the largest, it has had an outsized role in perpetuating the culture behind the apps. With a Tinder-esque swipe-left-or-right interface, it has garnered investment from dating app Bumble; what's different is that Chappy lets users toggle between categories called "Mr. Right" and "Mr. Right Now," allowing users to more easily weed out guys whose preferences don't align with your own, whether one is looking for dating or sex or something in between.

Chappy isn't the only app trying to distance itself from the stigma of so-called hookup culture. More established gay social platforms like Hornet and SCRUFF have recently charted a similar course, with a plethora of new features that spokespeople for both apps said are meant to introduce new ways to interact beyond hooking up.

On Hornet, new features include a Facebook-style activity feed, designed to shift the app away from a purely location-based cascade of profiles and more toward a traditional social network; SCRUFF has launched a Tinder-style swiping interface for relationship-minded folks and a gay events and traveling platform. These days, even Grindr seems like it doesn't want to be Grindr anymore, having recently repositioned itself as a "gay lifestyle brand. INTO , a new content feed with former Out.

Newsletters are the new newsletters.

What's not immediately clear is what's behind the evolution toward more dating-, event- and platonic-focused networking. Is it a fundamental shift in gay dating, or lipstick on a pig? A certain line of thought runs through many of those complaints about gay dating apps: