These women were not unhappy being lesbians , but love, it seems, really can conquer all — including a person's lifelong sexual orientation up to the moment when she falls hard for someone of a previously ignored gender. The research on men shows somewhat less flexibility. But Diamond and other researchers have compiled numerous case studies of gay men who spent years feeling and acting fully and comfortably homosexual, only then to fall unexpectedly in love with a heterosexual woman.
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Recently, I interviewed two people who went through this sexual upheaval late in life themselves. Both said they had never even considered falling in love with someone of the same — or opposite — gender until they reached their 50s or 60s.
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Only at that relatively late stage in life did they undergo startling degree turns in their sexual orientation. While the facts of each case are accurate, I've used pseudonyms at the subjects' request. Violet — a tall, striking woman of 60 with snow-white hair — had never married, but she had enjoyed major love affairs with men. Intensely dedicated to her career, she became a TV executive at age After her last relationship with a man ended in her 40s, Violet says she "gave up on love. A marketing expert, Susan was in a pleasant but not passionate heterosexual marriage at the time.
She valued her extended family — husband, two children and their spouses, and four grandchildren — more than anything else. Susan had never been unfaithful.
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She had never been attracted to another woman. But from the moment she and Violet began working together on a project, sparks flew, shocking both women. A physical relationship of 12 years ensued.
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When Violet finally admitted to herself that the two women would never enjoy a fully realized partnership, she ended the relationship. Susan's husband knew about his wife's involvement and tolerated it, but neither he nor Susan was willing to jeopardize their close-knit family relations. Violet loved Susan with all her heart, but she did not define herself as gay in the wake of the affair — nor has she become involved in another same-sex relationship since.
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Her "sexual turnaround" applied to Susan and Susan alone. Ned had been gay his entire adult life.
Though he had a few sexual relationships with women in high school, he never thought of himself as heterosexual or even bisexual: Ned liked women, but he loved men. When he was 29, Ned fell deeply in love with Gerry, a man 10 years older.
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They remained a couple for 23 years, which included getting married in , the year California first permitted same-sex unions. Conversely, heterosexual men and lesbian women presented themselves as focused on others, perhaps to appeal to the communal nature associated with women.
With regard to regional environment, older gay and lesbian adults residing in environments with low structural support for LGBT people were most likely to emphasize a desire for shared experiences, potentially reflecting feelings of disconnectedness to their environments. Findings suggest that despite the scripted nature of dating profiles, adults with different characteristics may have distinct motivations when seeking a romantic partner. Department Human Development and Family Sciences.
Subject Older adults Online dating Romantic ties Geographic context. URI http: Search Repository. This Collection.
Can Sexual Preference Change With Age?
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Crafting a good online dating profile can sometimes feel as complicated as a painting by Jackson Pollock. And yet, you have the power to make it as intriguing as the Mona Lisa. Starting out with how to choose the right […].