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Founder Joel Simkhai told the New York Times in that he never intended to "shift a culture," even as other gay dating apps such as Hornet made clear in their communities guidelines that such language would not be tolerated. Talk about too little, too late.


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Last week Grindr again got derailed in its attempts to be kinder when news broke that Scott Chen, the app's straight-identified president, may not fully support marriage equality. While Chen immediately sought to distance himself from the comments made on his personal Facebook page, fury ensued across social media, and Grindr's biggest competitors — Scruff, Hornet and Jack'd — quickly denounced the news.

Some of the most vocal criticism came from within Grindr's corporate offices, hinting at internal strife: Into, Grindr's own web magazine, first broke the story. In an interview with the Guardian, chief content officer Zach Stafford said Chen's comments did not align with the company's values. Grindr did not respond to my multiple requests for comment, but Stafford confirmed in an email that Into reporters will continue to do their jobs "without the influence of other parts of the company — even when reporting on the company itself. It's the last straw for some disheartened users.

Concerned about user data leaks and irritated by a plethora of pesky ads, Bray has stopped using Grindr and instead spends his time on Scruff, a similar mobile dating and networking app for queer men.

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A precursor to modern dating as we know it, Grindr helped pioneer geosocial-based dating apps when it launched in It maintains one of the largest queer communities online, offering one of the only ways gay, bi and trans men can connect in corners of the world that remain hostile to LGBTQ rights. But nearly 10 years on, there are signs that Grindr may be losing ground in a dense field of competing apps that offer similar services without all the baggage. Other apps seemed to have taken what Grindr did, but make it better.

Robinson now prefers meeting people on Scruff, which he says has a friendlier interface and far fewer "headless horsemen," those infamous dating app users who upload only a faceless photo of a toned torso. Unsurprisingly, Scruff tries to distance itself from Grindr every chance it can — claiming to be a safer and more reliable option. It's a message that resonates.

In the past several years, Grindr users have widely reported that spambots and spoofed accounts run rampant — raising safety concerns in a community that's often victim to violent hate crimes. And these are not unfounded concerns. In , for example, one New York City resident filed a lawsuit against Grindr for failing to stop a spoofer who had stolen his identity, created Grindr accounts with his photos, and sent hundreds of strangers seeking sex to his home and workplace. He claims he contacted Grindr support services more than 50 times and received nothing but automated emails in response.

Many users have similar, though less extreme, stories. Since having his own photos stolen and shared on the app, year-old Edwin Betancourt infrequently logs into his Grindr account. Betancourt quickly learned he needed to take precautionary steps to stay safe and avoid phishing scams — going as far as asking some guys to write a specific word on a piece of paper and then take a picture of themselves posing with it. It's not an ideal way of meeting a potential match, which is why he opts more often to use OkCupid, Tinder and Chappy, a newer dating platform for queer men that's backed by Bumble.

While a level of dating-app fatigue may be expected given that same-sex couples overwhelmingly meet online, Grindr is in a uniquely negative position: Among its major competitors, Grindr has the lowest score on the Apple App store, a lowly two stars. Unhappy users are seeing little incentive to stay put when there are so many other options. From sending the first messages to getting ready for your first date, we here to help get your love life off the ground.

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