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Join us. Lurk, speak, cam up or just type Also,thanks to ngbmameman you can visit irc. Slack public chat Discord Introvert chat. Being gay and introverted. I'm a 21 year old guy and I've been fairly open about my sexuality to family and friends for about 2 years now. I was fortunate to have an easy coming out experience with my family and I haven't had any real issues with finding support from people close to me.
When I first came out to my mom, her reaction was simply: Every time I mention my orientation, even casually, I always get some variant of "Oh really? I never would have guessed" because I look and act so different from the "stereotypical gay guy" I'm extremely quiet and shy and normally very closed off to people I don't know well.
I don't drink, i'm not in great shape and I get far more worked up by maps of the Byzantine Empire than I do for parties or shopping. I don't care if I don't conform to the stereotype. I've lost count of how many times i've been called "a bad gay" by various people after I declined their offer to go to a party, go to the gym ect. Once, after talking about my desire to get my masters degree in archaeology, the guy I was talking to felt confident enough to declare: You're just confused. You can't be gay". I often feel like my introversion sort of shuts me out from the gay community, which so often seems to be geared exclusively for extroverts, which naturally makes fitting in more difficult.
I also feel like i'm not welcomed by other guys within the gay community. Most of the people who have said these sorts of things aren't really people I spend much time with. Mostly its the people in the extended social bubble Classmates, extended family, co-workers and other people you just have to deal with on a daily level My "core" group of friends is amazing and they've always accepted me for the awkward person that I am. I really wish there was a way to pop the extended social bubble without coming across as a total jackass. The next time any of them discriminate against you in that way, talk to them about it.
If they apologise and change their behaviour, then great. If not, then just cut them off. Since you have protested about their behaviour, they would be the total jackasses, not you. And anyway you shouldn't care even if such immature and short-sighted people think you're a jackass. I know that a lot of people on reddit often immediately suggest breaking all ties to a person if you are facing proplems, but in this case I think it is the right way to go, especially if they keep up their insensitive behaviour after you have pointed it out to them.
Maybe just younger people who don't know better. I'm in a hairstyling program not enjoying it but that whole different story. I'm a few a years older than most of my classmates and there is a gay man amongst them. I'm very good friends with him. The only thing he has in common with the stereotype is the voice, but in everything else he is very much his own person.
I'm trying not to make too harsh of judgements on people who are under 25, because generally they are still developing and learning about the world. It doesn't bother my friend because he has been through much worse previously in his life. I'm both of those things. I used to understand your position, but growing up being in the closest for most of my life and being an introvert I just kept myself closed off to the people I've come to know as fake. My sexuality is open to anyone who wants to know now.
All my family knows and I've never been happier. I guess my only recommendation is to just shrug off the opinions of people who are going to judge you for your sexuality and don't waste your precious energy and time on those who will pigeon-hold you into a stereotype. I think this is great advice.
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There have always been stereotypes, and there have always been people who believe that they are some kind of universal rule. You don't need to waste your energy worrying about them or what they think. Your core group of friends like you as you are and that's why they are your friends. I'm straight, so I can't comment much on the gay community, but one of my closest and oldest friends is gay, and a bit of an introvert. He was never a big fan of the gay dating scene, particularly clubs and bars and what not. He still deals with some of the same kind of thing you are and I have witnessed some of it first-hand.
My impression is that it usually comes from a place of ignorance. These are often people who have never knowingly met a gay or lesbian person, and everything they know about what it means to be gay is what they have seen on TV.
Next time you encounter someone who expects you to act a certain way, just continue being yourself. Hopefully they will come away from the encounter with a reason to question those stereotypes.
Life as a Gay Male Introvert: 5 Tips to Help You Cope
Stereotypes are awful, I have short hair and people think I am a lesbian especially when I randomly dress less feminine, or say " are you sure you aren't lesbian. I recently had a talk with my uncle about this. I recently cut my hair very short and have been dressings more plainly, less girly. He kept making jokes about "bringing a girlfriend home" and the like. I told him that it really bothered me and he apologized, he didn't know he was being hurtful. Wow, that's so not cool but it is nice that he apologized.
It's funny how people change there perceptions of you after a hair cut, I still dress girly but seriously, I have always been straight and nothing is more annoying when someone questions it because of a short haircut. Luckily I am a hairdresser and it's more typical to have a short hair cut so it works.
It isn't really something you can "talk to" someone about, especially when you don't know then well.
Life as a Gay Male Introvert: 5 Tips to Help You Cope
That might be because i'm extremely passive. I get lots of girls asking me to do random stuff with them.
The stereotype is being broken down slowly, yeah. It's still very strong in a lot of social areas though, even among other gay guys it seems. The label "straight acting" is looked down upon and is seen as a bad thing at least it seems that way to me. I'm very introvert and gay too.
I'm not the "stereotypical gay guy". I don't drink, I don't smoke, I'm not in shape. But you know, my LGBT circle is made up of people who come from an universitary background and value culture more than they value getting superhigh. It's a mix of extrovert and introvert.