I want to be gay

Learn more about why some people are gay. Yes, absolutely. Lots of people identify themselves as same-sex attracted — in fact, about one in ten.

I Didn't Choose to be Gay

Some even remember having crushes on friends of their own sex when they were little. Often it takes a while to begin thinking of yourself as gay, lesbian or bisexual, or another sexual identity. Your closest relationship might be your best friend. Some people prefer not to label themselves, and for many people their sexual preference and identification changes over time.

Drinking helped to quiet any discomfort inside me. I was angry at God. I was tired of trying to please someone I obviously could not please, so I simply gave up trying to! For some, giving up is giving in to a self convincing belief that perhaps the Bible should be interpreted differently?

This can help if:

Whatever the point of relinquishment, the sense of freedom can be very real. Like Willy, many find that they have community that accepts them, and yes, who loves them too, genuinely.

The church experience can appear as a bad dream that is now past. Some, like Willy spurn the God of their youth.

What does it all mean?

Both ways of leaving the fight are understandable, but will not in the end lead to life. For what may be a number of years, it may seem that there is no other choice.

And for many, once moving out of what has often been an intolerable season of guilt and rejection, accepting their homosexuality is a freedom indeed. It is vitally important to know that with God, this issue is not one of either struggle or give in.

Some Gays Can Go Straight, Study Says

Many people come to this. Today, the only hope given is to accept your fate and enjoy the ride. But if you want to get off, you are given no hope. But there is hope. How can our God be restricted and powerless? Willy spent fifteen years in long term relationships, trying to find purpose and meaning for his life.


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He had everything that he had thought would make him happy. He had a boyfriend that he loved, a great job and life was good. But he had a deep sense of frustration and was aware that, with all that he had, he was not happy. He tells his story of how one day after all this time, God began to speak to him clearly.


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I got so mad! I remember I threw down the bucket of water I was holding and stormed into my house and down to the basement where I could be on my own. Leave me alone! Stop doing this to me! I tried all I could to do the things you wanted me to do, to become the person you wanted me to be, but I failed!

How to be gay in 10 easy steps

Willy bargained, he argued that he had tried! God said that he had never asked Willy to strive and try to change. Willy was unwilling to give up what he had now made as a comfortable life, in a comfortable relationship. He simply wanted Willy to give him his heart. Eventually Willy asked God what he would do with this heart? And I could no longer resist it.

Street cruising is mostly dead — no, it can't be done on Grindr — but a trip to a bath house will teach you all you ever need to know. If only so people will get your jokes about Rush and Jungle Juice, know what poppers are. You don't have to use them, but it's one secret we've kept from most of the gay community for decades so we have to keep it going.

It's our version of Colonel Sanders' secret recipe. Get out there with a picket sign and some anger and fight for your rights. Even before Stonewall we have a long history of fighting the man, and that should never die. You can collect signatures for marriage equality or you can join an Occupy protest and fight income inequality, but never stop fighting.

And if PDA public displays of agitation aren't your thing, there are plenty of causes that need fundraising, which can easily be done over brunch a gay art that somehow is not on this list. Standing out in the hot June sun can sure be a drag all puns intended but everyone should experience the depth and breadth of the community at this event at least once.

See the people outside of your social circle, the tourists from a far, and those people who wouldn't mix with in a million gay years. And where else are you going to see Dykes on Bikes anyway? This sense of being able to find other homosexuals in the given area isn't inborn like a sense of direction or ESP. No, it must be acquired through years of hard work and figuring out just which clues are going to give guys away.

Even then it's still not infallible whenever European tourists are around. But it's essential. Not only will it help you determine when you're in a safe space with others of your kind, it will also direct you to which clerk to flirt with for a discount and which flight attendant to wink at for a free tiny bottle of vodka.

It's everything from Showgirls and Mommie Dearest to John Waters and your aunt Nancy who loves to show up at family events with lipstick on her teeth and do her Charo impersonation. Yes, before "hipsters" ironically co-opted things that were awful, gay men invented camp and it has pervaded our aesthetic. In some respects it's about loving an outsider and wanting to embrace it even while disparaging the things that make it amazing.

Much like the supreme court's definition of pornography, it's hard to define camp but we all know it when we see it. And if you don't know it, then you're just another sincere mark for all the camp connoisseurs out there. Aids nearly wiped out a generation of gay men.

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